Vacation Dad Rides Again

Exactly 3 Days from today, Lover Fo’ Life, our nutty 5.5 year old, and my Dad, the ultimate Disney Planning Admiral, are leaving on a jet plane for Walt Disney World. WDW is an entire “world” built on a Florida swamp … Continue reading

2016 Needs To Calm The F*ck Down

First it was Bowie, then Glen Frey, and Merle Haggard joined him, and now, comes the cruelest of cuts that is just now sinking into hearts all over the world. Prince, has flown to Heaven on his purple Chariot of … Continue reading

These Pictures are Worth a Thousand Apologies

An engaged Chinese couple purchased a wedding dress from a moderately priced (allegedly reputable) Bridal Shop, and also took advantage of an offer to have the shop bundle in a Wedding Photographer and full BIG DAY photo shoot for a reasonable $350. In a … Continue reading

More Plot Twists Than Dynasty

Shimmy into your finest evening gown, or put on a Botany 500 Suit and meet me on the terrace for elaborately choreographed cat brawls and classy slapfights. I’m back with some juicy new developments that are sure to spawn hours of content and … Continue reading

Naked Lady Dances on a Wrecked Big Rig, Stops Traffic and Our Hearts

In the latest dispatch from Texas’ bar-brawl with Florida for most nonsensical state in the union, a Houston woman stopped traffic for over two hours this morning, leaving a sh*tload of commuters stranded in absolute Hell. The unnamed beauty was … Continue reading

RIP David Bowie: Hot Tramp, I Love You So

Last night, while everyone slept off a fun-filled weekend, the world became an even darker place. David Bowie, embodiement of cool, AKA the Thin White Duke, went off to that great big sold-out stadium in the sky. He was a WAAAAY too … Continue reading

Tales From the Unnecessary Reboot

You know, I had this whole uplifting post all about how we all survived the worst week of the year, complete with some surprising shark news that further leads to my beloved Megalodon still being un-extinct. Sadly, I awoke from a … Continue reading

RIP Lillian Vernon, You’re Selling Tacky Crap to Angels Now

Y’all are gonna have to give me a moment here, one of my LIFELONG idols passed this mortal realm and has been mailed interstellar priority to Heaven. Lillian Vernon, catalog royalty, and purveyor of the absurd, passed away yesterday, she … Continue reading

10 Horrible Gifts for all the Horrible People in Your Life

10 Horrible Gifts for all the Horrible People in Your Life Believe it or not, I turn into a real Cribsy Claus around the Holidays. Be it lobbying Lover Fo’ Life to decorate mid-november, or listening to Christmas Music from … Continue reading

How to Dismantle an American Hero With One Slice of Pie

  Well, HELLO THERE, TURKEYS! Your dearest friend, Cribsy has been recovering from another wonderful trip to the family ranch in Erath County, Texas. If Erath County sounds familiar to you, it’s because that’s where American Sniper Chris Kyle was … Continue reading