Bad Decisions Forever!

Last week Lover Fo’ Life celebrated his 40th birthday. Mace is my counterbalance in the universe, so naturally, he refused the 3-ring circus of a celebration that I had envisioned. Where I love to brag in capital neon, L4L is … Continue reading

In Rainbows

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s days like today that I’m so proud to live in the greatest country that ever existed in the history of time, I’m talking about Texas, of course. While the other states have perfectly … Continue reading

Say Hello to 2017’s First Anthem (Alternate Title: You’re Welcome)

Once upon a time there was a hilarious, captivating and vainglorious beauty that for half a decade stunk up the internet with toilet humor and accounts of her nefarious dealings. Then the flaming diaper of 2016 happened. That fabled anti-hero … Continue reading

Intermission

Well kiddies, we’re halfway through my series on Africa, and while I know 99.99% of y’all are enjoying it thoroughly, there’s that .001 of you who are probably bored with my navel-gazing gush-a-thon. Where’s the heartless (yet devastatingly gorgeous) Villainess … Continue reading

Liberate Yourselves!

Well well well, look who decided to show back up! Sorry kiddies, I’ve been busier than a bumble bee snorting meth in a bouncehouse. When last we met, I was on part 2 of 3 in the DASTARDLY DEEDS OF BUSHWACKER BILL … Continue reading

The Day Tom Ford Left Me

My dearest reader, I come to you a weary and wizened Cribsy. A week ago I was a fluffy marshmallow of optimism, and now, yours truly is a tooth-chipping Lucky Charms mallow of cynicism dipped in pure exhaustion. When I last … Continue reading

Vacation Dad Rides Again

Exactly 3 Days from today, Lover Fo’ Life, our nutty 5.5 year old, and my Dad, the ultimate Disney Planning Admiral, are leaving on a jet plane for Walt Disney World. WDW is an entire “world” built on a Florida swamp … Continue reading

2016 Needs To Calm The F*ck Down

First it was Bowie, then Glen Frey, and Merle Haggard joined him, and now, comes the cruelest of cuts that is just now sinking into hearts all over the world. Prince, has flown to Heaven on his purple Chariot of … Continue reading

These Pictures are Worth a Thousand Apologies

An engaged Chinese couple purchased a wedding dress from a moderately priced (allegedly reputable) Bridal Shop, and also took advantage of an offer to have the shop bundle in a Wedding Photographer and full BIG DAY photo shoot for a reasonable $350. In a … Continue reading

More Plot Twists Than Dynasty

Shimmy into your finest evening gown, or put on a Botany 500 Suit and meet me on the terrace for elaborately choreographed cat brawls and classy slapfights. I’m back with some juicy new developments that are sure to spawn hours of content and … Continue reading