The Tampon Flask: For a Heavy Flow of Booze

As a good time party girl and gutter slut from way back, it should come as no surprise that I have smuggled my fair share of liquor into alcohol-prohibited places. Child birthday parties, jury duty, bar mitzvahs, and the CRUISE … Continue reading

Santa Claus is Coming To…Terrify

It’s the time of the year when people are either filled with joy and kindness, or filled with hate and the ability to shove elderly women into oncoming traffic. Christmas time brings out either the best or worst in humanity. … Continue reading

Miley Cyrus Debuts New Song, ‘We Can’t Stop,’ World Begs Her to “Please Try!”

Miley Cyrus is officially America’s kid sister who has embraced her twenties as the time to prove to the WORLD that she is edgy and hardcore. Remember that time your lil’ sis decided to gage her ears, study Nietzsche, turn vegan and get a tattoo sleeve … Continue reading

The Perfect Song to Teach Your Nana This Thanksgiving

The Official Holiday season kicks off Thursday with Thanksgiving. Ah Thanksgiving! The time of the year you’re held captive by a bunch of weirdos who insist on cramming horribly crafted foodstuffs down your throat. Sure, they may be “family,” but … Continue reading

Tater-Peelin’ Tuesday: A Guide To Poultry

Keep looking, those Giblets are in there. TATER PEELIN’ MAMA’S GUIDE TO POULTRY Holy roarin’ tea kettles! Turkey day is right around the corner! It seems like just yesterday we were shish-kebobbin’ it for Memorial Day and enjoying spritely little cocktails … Continue reading

Massive Eye From an Unidentified Creature Washes Up in Florida (You Know What MY Guess is!)

It’s beginning, people. The Megalodon is starting to get bolder! While having a relaxing walk on the beach Wednesday, Gino Covacci, of Pompano Beach, Florida came across what looked like a softball. After he kicked it over to investigate further, he … Continue reading