The Shopkins Baroness Speaks: It’s Lonely at the Top

  I am a warrior Goddess, all that I survey is mine. Hoards of people have submitted to my irresistible charm and hang on my every move. In the many months since I last granted you an audience, my humble … Continue reading

The Shopkins Baroness Speaks: Toy Hustlers

I’ll never forget the day I met ol’ chipped tooth. It was 9:45 on a sweltering August morning. My 3 year old had brought me to this lowly place in life, standing outside of a toy store, waiting for the … Continue reading

The Shopkins Baroness Speaks: The Day The Plastic Cried

Greetings from the frontlines, If I were a wide-eyed “doughboy” fighting it out in WWI circa 1914, I’d say we were, “in the trenches.” As I write this letter to you, my dearest and most beloved reader, I’m fighting a war. … Continue reading

Holy Knit!

Okay, it’s crochet, not knitting, but what 2-bit hack blogger could resist such a title? Howdy babies! Did you miss me??? Sorry, I’ve been busy Scrooge McDucking the duck out of my biz. As you might recall, I accidentally went into … Continue reading

The Shopkins Baroness Speaks: The Biggest Rip-Off In America

Have you ever heard of that tacky slut Lilly Pulitzer? If you haven’t, let me fill you in. Lilly Pulitzer (from the same family as the prize,) was a designer whose brand focuses on leisure wear in fussy floral prints … Continue reading

Shopkins Barroness Speaks: Dispatches From The Throne

When we last met, I was explaining the origin story for my current alter ego, The Shopkins Baroness. For those of you too lazy to leave this post and read my last, I’ll sum it up for you. Late July: … Continue reading

16 Smart Alec Vandals Who Improved Signs

Greetings my time-wasting, responsibilty-shirking, darlings! When we last met, I began to regale my tales of being a stone-cold toy-flipping jaugernaut. I am the Shopkins Barroness, my kingdom stretches all over the globe. While I’ve been too busy on my “shop … Continue reading

The Shopkins Barroness of Park Brook Drive (Part One: Humble Beginnings)

I am the ruler and supreme master of all in my empire. As I write this, I’m looking at a table, piled with treasure, plundered from every retailer in an 50 mile radius. The colorful and cute plastic toys that … Continue reading