Nana News Alert: QVC Has Purchased Home Shopping Network

Coke vs Pepsi Apple vs Android Harriet Carter Vs. Lillian Vernon All are examples of storied business rivals, and while the winners are clear (Coke, Android, and Harriet Carter, durrr), each has their particular camp with a clear line drawn … Continue reading

Bolton to Love You (Alternate Title: Happy VD, Y’all!)

Happy Valentine’s Day, Lovers! Just in case Hallmark’s secretly implanted microchip hasn’t yet involuntarily propelled your body to the nearest greeting card aisle, TODAY IS EXPENSIVE CARD AND WAXY CHOCOLATE DAY! Of course, I realize that a number of you are: single, … Continue reading

Tales From the Unnecessary Reboot

You know, I had this whole uplifting post all about how we all survived the worst week of the year, complete with some surprising shark news that further leads to my beloved Megalodon still being un-extinct. Sadly, I awoke from a … Continue reading

Finally, A Slap-Fight I’d PAY to See.

It’s no secret sh*t is out of control right now. Those self-righteous stunt queens with horrid grooming habits, ISISSSS, have f*cked with the wrong people for the last damn time. Not only does Vladdy Putin have his nuts in a … Continue reading

Brought To You By The Letter $$$$$$$

Happy Monday, Y’ALL!!! If you’re in Texas, today is the FIRST day of school! Yes, our long and torturous summer dealing with entitled teens and surly short-stacks has come to a merciful end, those brats are the teacher’s bother now! Speaking … Continue reading

Pat Sajak’s Give A Crap is Busted Beyond Repair

For years, I’ve been your field guide to the absurd, drunken, nonsense parade that is the interweb. One of my earliest posts, addressed Mr. Pat Sajak, host of television’s Wheel of Fortune. Matter of fact, anytime America’s favorite Keebler Elf makes news, I … Continue reading

MUST PEE TV: Weatherman Whizzes On Live National Television

Saturday evening, I was far away from my television set when NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt aired. Sadly, I missed live news hilarity at its finest. Luckily, I’ve got the best readers in the world who know just when … Continue reading

Finally, A Three-Way Your Nana Will Approve Of (Alternate Title: SHIRT OF LIES)

Howdy strangers! It’s been a dog’s age since I decided to churn out the ha-has at this ramshackled joke shanty. The truth of the matter is, years of summertime dicking around has left my work ethic at a near zero … Continue reading

Thank You For Being A Friend: Artist Draws Bea Arthur Every Day For a Year

  If you aren’t a fan of The Golden Girls, GTFO. The #1 reason that I love the classic 1980’s sitcom is Bea Arthur’s portrayal of Dorothy Zbornak, AKA a masterclass in sarcasm. Whether you’re a smartass with a flair for zingers, or merely … Continue reading

Alton Brown Has Solved Your Fridge Door Condiment Woes

Alton Brown can virtually do no wrong in this house. His matter of fact and zany approach to all things kitchen were the hallmark of his beloved (now defunct) series, Good Eats.   Alton was the ONLY credible chef on Food … Continue reading