Massive ‘Jurassic’ Yellow Jacket Nest Found in Florida (Of Course it Was)

Welp, another GOLD STAR goes to Florida, once again they’ve managed to terrify and entertain the world just by being themselves. Anyone who’s ever spent more than 5 minutes in America’s swamp knows that Florida is essentially a humid Hell straight from … Continue reading

Paula Deen is Now Selling Her Own Line of Butter at Walmart (The Jokes Write Themselves)

Paw-luh Dain, the high-priestess of Southern decadence is back and greasing the wheels of her lucrative empire with a new line of designer butters. Gone is the post-diabeetus healthier Paula. Once more, Queen Paula of the Butter people has returned to be with her tribe. … Continue reading

Gingerbread Oreos: Because This is America

I’m about to write something I never in a million years dreamt I would ever type: “You need to go to Wal-Mart.” Look, I know…Wal-Mart is where dreams go to die. The company is solely responsible for murdering small town … Continue reading

You Meet the Nicest People at Wal-Mart

Every one of you reading this need to step up your swagger. Because NONE of you sluts have the SOLID GOLD GAME of Langley South Carolina’s very own Joey William Leaphart. Maybe it’s just the 12-year-old in me, but does anyone else notice … Continue reading

“BULLET TRAIN TO HECK” Fall 2011 Edition: Who Farted?

At approximately 4:30am Saturday morning, Lover fo’ Life, Angry Baby, yours truly, my sister and her fiancée(!) pulled out of our driveway, the SUV filled to the gills with baby gear, weddin’ outfits, road snax and 4 grown adults. As the truck … Continue reading

Remember the Awkward.

As I have discussed previously, there is a feeling that registers inside of yours truly every time someone embarrasses themselves publicly. It’s a chill of humiliation that cools me to the core, I simply refer to it as “the cold feeling.” The … Continue reading

Excuse her Beauty.

If you were hoping to fill the position of the world’s most awesome beauty, you’re too late. Meet Sandy McMillin, the hot to trot Wal-Mart shopper who was kicked out for wearing a bikini top. Do whatever it takes to … Continue reading

Two British Dudes Walk into a Wal-Mart

Talk about CULTURE SHOCKING, watch the LOLz as two Brits discover “the only thing you would need to survive,” WAL-MART! Real Talk: I loathe Wal-Mart. It’s too hot, crammed with unwashed masses and sells everything but what I actually need … Continue reading