A Heartwarming Tale of Sharing

I have a new hero this fine day, and I don’t even know her name. Yesterday, Facebook’s DC Manager (yes, Facebook has an office in Washington DC) Adam Conner was in the security line at Washington’s Dulles International Airport. While in cue, … Continue reading

Give Me A Break, Pizza Hut

Anyway you slice it, Pizza Hut is an American company. Founded in the states, the chain of questionable quality pizza pies is a brand synonymous with the good ol’ US of A. You’d think a business that was made with … Continue reading

Neil Armstrong 1930-2012

Neil Armstrong, American Hero has died, he was 82 years old. Rather than wallow in the sadness of his passing, I want to instead focus on his bravery. In a letter released just last week, Richard Nixon’s speechwriter, William Safire wrote … Continue reading

The Freedom Flask, Because This is America

Say there pretty baby, have you ever wished that you could secretly store an entire bottle of booze at crotch level? Well, your hopes and wishes are finally coming true, say hello to the Freedom Flask! Frat boys, drunk Uncles, the Kennedy Clan, … Continue reading

You May Now Grandslam the Bride

Denny’s is building a flagship restaurant in the Las Vegas mall NEONOPOLIS! For those of you not familiar with the pantheon of class and distinction that is the Las Vegas eyesore attraction, let me fill you in…Neonopolis is a money-wasting … Continue reading

This Should End Well…

Clive Palmer is a nutjob, but he’s a paid nutjob. Mr. Palmer is worth billions. In addition to being the world’s sexiest Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon, you may remember Clive from the news earlier this year when he announced that he’s currently building … Continue reading

You Meet the Nicest People at Wal-Mart

Every one of you reading this need to step up your swagger. Because NONE of you sluts have the SOLID GOLD GAME of Langley South Carolina’s very own Joey William Leaphart. Maybe it’s just the 12-year-old in me, but does anyone else notice … Continue reading

Post On Request: My Favorite Disney Attraction

Uncle Fester almost made me spit out my Yoo-Hoo with his winning caption in last week’s caption this contest. His prize, as it is for every winner each week, was a post on request. The topic Fester gave me was … Continue reading

There Went My Plans For the Weekend

If you’re looking to get drunk and have a slow rollin’ good time on a stolen Wal-Mart scooter, you’d best stay the hail away from Houma, Louisiana. There’s a great chance you’ll end up in jail. Upstanding citizen and party animal … Continue reading

Wang Beads, That is All

Pretty sure CPS is going to beat down my door after this post, but it’s too embarassing hilarious not to share. As a professional gutter skank and drunk girl about town, I thoroughly enjoyed my 20’s. And while the sky-high bar tabs, … Continue reading