What a Load of Crap: Japanese Museum Exhibit All About Poop

Happy Monday, y’all! Kiss your awesome weekend goodbye and say hello to 5 days of soul crushing drudgery. But just because you feel like a pile of dog turds and your attitude is in the crapper, it doesn’t mean you can’t … Continue reading

Allow Me To Brag (Please Excuse the Sarcasm)

I live in a suburb of Houston, Texas. Katy, the land of Alpha Moms and A-Hole Dads. People in these parts are obsessed with suburban perfection and don’t mind going in debt up to their eyeballs just to keep up with … Continue reading

Crappy Love Stories

Florida, America’s Drunk and Fun Uncle, spent the majority of 2012 gifting the world with various Odd News items. From face-eating bathsalt zombies to sex fights over Pam as a personal lubricant, Florida brought it. Luckily for us, it appears … Continue reading

TLC is Developing a Reality Show Called: “Best Funeral Ever” (Of Course They Are)

A long time ago, the government created a television station aimed at educating citizens, Uncle Sam aptly named it, “The Learning Channel.” For years it offered the mild, classroom-ready programming one would expect from a Learning Channel. Then it became … Continue reading

Droppin’ Bombs on Relaxation

This past week I’ve been enjoying time on the family ranch, and while the Liberty Longhorn Ranch is still my favorite place on planet Earth, I have to say: I’m thrilled to be home. Scorpions, hormonal women, MORE SCORPIONS, unsuccessful hunting, and a clumsy … Continue reading

Diaper Genie (Not what it sounds like!)

Hello there, I didn’t see you come in! You’ll  have to excuse me, I’m getting settled into my new cubical here at ROCK BOTTOM. Today, my senses were violated in every way possible, and I’ve hit my all time limit … Continue reading