Neck Breaking Regret From The 90’s is Getting a Reboot

Picture it, the 1990’s. Jewel tones, Ace of Base, and chunky platforms were KING, and the world was introduced to a sassy cobbler named Steve Madden. With his devil-may-care approach to physics, Steve Madden (before he went to jail as … Continue reading

Ecto Cooler is Back From The Dead!

RED ALERT! WE HAVE IMPORTANT BREAKING AND REFRESHING NEWS! WOOP WOOP WOOP! RED ALERT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Last night while I was shame-eating a Double Dave’s pizza roll from my purse (that I had previously wrapped in a napkin … Continue reading

Signs O’ The End Times: JNCO JEANS ARE COMING BACK

Look, I know I was supposed to hook you skanks up with the latest dispatch from my empire forged from plastic and little girl squeals of hapiness, but we’ve got some serious sh*t to discuss this morning. You’ll just hafta wait … Continue reading

Forget Elf on the Shelf, Say Hello to WHORE IN THE DRAWER!

Happy Monday you beautiful babies, boy do I have a SPECIAL TREAT for y’all today! Years and years ago, when I was in College, I was part of a lounge singing duet. My partner was a hilarious and devastatingly handsome … Continue reading

Paging Mr. Herman: A NEW PEE WEE MOVIE OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED!

Over 2 years ago, I first wrote that a new Pee Wee Movie was in the works, read the original post HERE. Well, because every movie takes freaking years to get made the film kinda hasn’t been discussed much since, leaving diehards like … Continue reading

Finally, Some Good News

Greetings, dearest readers. When we last met, I was on my way to my mother’s funeral, poised to deliver the Eulogy. Today, I come to you as a newly-minted, fully realized adult. My family and I survived the day, and while I’m … Continue reading

They’re Bringing Back CRYSTAL PEPSI (Children of the 90’s Rejoice!)

Crystal Pepsi, AKA clear liquid nectar of the GODS, was introduced to the American Marketplace in late 1992. The crisp beverage had a wealth of marketing and advertising bucks behind it. Unfortunately, the color-free drink was ahead of its time, … Continue reading

Grey Poupon is Bringing Back The ‘Pardon Me’ Ads (For Me to Poop on)

The 1980’s were a golden time for many things: Children’s Breakfast Cereals, shoulder pads and Ad Slogans. Consider this: “Where’s the beef?, I want my MTV! and I’ve Fallen and I can’t get up!” were all Ad-Slogans birthed during the 80’s.   … Continue reading

So It’s Come To This: The NEW Jem Dolls

With Halloween approaching quickly, it would only make sense that the bloodthirsty toy companies are starting to trot out their finest upcoming releases just in time for the holidays. Thankfully, Angry Baby is content playing with wrapping paper and gift … Continue reading

Wham! is Reuniting, Yes THAT Wham

Did you hear that? It’s the sound of nut-hugging short-shorts and “Choose Life” T-Shirts hi-fiving each other: THEY’VE GOT A JOB AGAIN, Y’ALL! The greatest jazz-handing pop duo, WHAM! is reuniting! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Star of my childhood dreams, George Michael, and living … Continue reading