Guy Fieri is Your Mom

One of the greatest things about running this drunk tank of a website, is the TONS of wacky links you freaks send me. From the Rough N Rowdy Bowl, to balcony jumping strippers (RIP Hottie,) my inbox and Facebook feeds always hold ha-ha treasure. Sometimes, … Continue reading

Allow Me To Brag (Please Excuse the Sarcasm)

I live in a suburb of Houston, Texas. Katy, the land of Alpha Moms and A-Hole Dads. People in these parts are obsessed with suburban perfection and don’t mind going in debt up to their eyeballs just to keep up with … Continue reading

90’s Muze Cruise (Alternate title: Shut Up And Take My Money, Already)

Carnival is the go-to cruise line for those who love surly senior citizens and 24-Hour hot dog buffets. I’ve personally been on two voyages with the line. Instead of telling you about the horrible time I had on my last Carnival ship, the “S.S. … Continue reading


As everyone already knows, today is TUES-the-Extreme day! But it is far more special than just a silly weekly holiday devoted to living life in the EXTREME, today is the BIRTHDAY OF AN ANGEL: Kathie Lee Gifford turns 100 39 today. … Continue reading

Look at what the perverts have done!

There is a delicate and chardonay-preserved rose, named Kathie Lee Gifford. I have written to you many times about how she is my true angel of the morning. Watching her cackle like glamorous flamingo every day warms my tiny, shriveled, black heart. I’m  a fan … Continue reading


Kathie Lee Gifford, is my ANGEL of the Morning, sure she’s so soaked in Chardonnay she’s flammable, but she’s MY FLAMMABLE ANGEL! I’ve chronicled on a few occasions that there are some real sickos Kathie Lee Gifford fans out there, because you … Continue reading

This is just plain foolery.

I’m finally here to say HELLLLLLLLLO! This morning, Lover Fo’ Life is home sick and I’m in full nurse mode. Side Note: Nurses are MAGIC! They save lives everyday and don’t get near the credit they deserve. Anywho, sorry I’m late but that’s … Continue reading

Just call her Angel of the Morning, babies.

Some days you’re the gum. Other days you’re the shoe. Anyway you look at it, we’re chewed! (Crowd starts spitting wads of gum at stage.) Thank the HEAVENS my ANGEL OF THE MORNING, Kathie Lee Gifford is shilling her new CHILDREN’S … Continue reading