Hedge Fund Fat Cat Hires Famous Hedgehog for the Day

Hey there little starsailor, havin’ a bad day? Worry not, your ol’ pal Cribsy is here to share a tale about someone who’s definitely more pathetic than you or I could ever be. Meet Steve Cohen. Billionaire Steve Cohen is … Continue reading

Sylvester Stallone vs Bruce Willis: The Catfight The World Has Been Waiting For

Sylvester Stallone is an action idol from the 1980’s-90’s. While he’s the king of weird veiny arms and “riding something until the wheels fall off,” you’ve gotta admit the meathead knows a thing or two about being awesome. Afterall, this man was John F*cking Rambo, … Continue reading

Give Me Something to Break: Limp Bizkit and Lil’ Wayne Did a Song Together

Depending on who you believe, Lil Wayne, America’s most famous Gremlin, almost died earlier this month from drinking too many bottles of codine-laced cough syrup, or he didn’t. I don’t know much about the d*ckbag that is Lil Wayne… but with this … Continue reading

Guy Fieri is Your Mom

One of the greatest things about running this drunk tank of a website, is the TONS of wacky links you freaks send me. From the Rough N Rowdy Bowl, to balcony jumping strippers (RIP Hottie,) my inbox and Facebook feeds always hold ha-ha treasure. Sometimes, … Continue reading

Guy Fieri Now Owns a Vineyard (The Jokes Write Themselves)

  America’s most famous bloated badger corpse, and resident food network abomination, Guy Fieri bought a vineyard in California’s Sonoma Valley last year. The first batch of Fieri owned Pinot Noir grapes from his vineyard have already been harvested and … Continue reading

Guy Fieri is Going To Murder Everything You Love, One Bite at a Time

In case you’re still holed up in a fallout shelter stinking drunk off of your extensive liquor reserves, WE SURVIVED the 2012 version of Y2K, the MAYAN APOCALYPSE!!!! Unfortunately, it seems the fates spared humanity’s wretched existence just to destroy all that is … Continue reading

Signs Of The Endtimes: Guy Fieri and Smashmouth Collaborate

Do you remember that band from the late 90’s/ Early 00’s, who had the fat “party dude” lead singer? I’m sorry, I’ll be more specific… ‘Memba, Smashmouth? Liars. Of course you do. I mean who here will ever be able to scour … Continue reading

Signs of the End Times: Guy Fieri Jewelry

I was having lunch with a friend not too long ago, when he told me he was a fan of Guy Fieri. Actually, his exact words were: “Guy Fieri is legit. He’s a badazz who cooks great food. Love or hate … Continue reading

Diners, Drive-Ins and Dipsh*t

So Guy Fieri fired some producer dude named David Page who has decided to talk to the press about it. Turns out the man so many of us have come to hate know as host of Food Network’s Diners, Drives and … Continue reading