The Legend of the Janky Tooth The Kid’s losing all her teeth, and the Maligned Janky Tooth found its freedom last night. It now cascades in the Dental Elysian Fields, sold out for a measly two bucks. Janky Tooth has … Continue reading
New Jersey, the garden state and our nation’s go to place for overtanned gaudy baboons, has a new reason for the rest of us to avoid their beloved state. This mojo right here: What you’re looking at is a mystery … Continue reading
I live in a suburb of Houston, Texas. Katy, the land of Alpha Moms and A-Hole Dads. People in these parts are obsessed with suburban perfection and don’t mind going in debt up to their eyeballs just to keep up with … Continue reading
This past week I’ve been enjoying time on the family ranch, and while the Liberty Longhorn Ranch is still my favorite place on planet Earth, I have to say: I’m thrilled to be home. Scorpions, hormonal women, MORE SCORPIONS, unsuccessful hunting, and a clumsy … Continue reading
Mad Dad Around The House: The John The Wife sent me to Home Depot for a toilet seat. It was tougher than it sounds. For one, it’s rather humiliating. Like buying toilet paper, condoms or tampons and other shoppers and … Continue reading
Every one of you reading this need to step up your swagger. Because NONE of you sluts have the SOLID GOLD GAME of Langley South Carolina’s very own Joey William Leaphart. Maybe it’s just the 12-year-old in me, but does anyone else notice … Continue reading
What do you, snarky teens imprisoned in high school, frat boys, Jimmy Buffett fans, dads, and the lazy busy lady in yoga pants at Target have in common? T-Shirts. Everyone wears T-Shirts. Chances are most of you reading this right now shimmied into a 3 hole wonder … Continue reading
Since 1861, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, aka MIT, has been a haven for some of the finest scientific minds in the world. One would imagine the hallowed laboratories of a university that gave us people like Buzz Aldrin and Kofi Annan would … Continue reading
Callista Gingrich, our future alien overlord, is many things. She’s beautiful, rocks the hail out of the clearance rack at Chico’s, has a helmet mane of bleach-blonde cotton candy, and most importantly, is down to party. You’d think having to hump … Continue reading
Last Night the Universe was righted just a little. Someone gave Kim Kardashian a shower of flour. Seems the high priestess of pimpin’ crappy products was out shilling her newest fragrance, Eau de Jock Rot True Reflection, when a random … Continue reading
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