Bumble Bee High-Fives Man & Wins at the Internet, Forever

I'm awesome, sluts!

Put down those baby kittens, hop on your Unicorns, and meet me under the glitter rainbow in Adorableville, we’ve got PRECIOUS BUSINESS TO DISCUSS! A Bumblebee was doing his normal bee stuff when he happened upon a drunk dude that asked the bee for … Continue reading

Record Huge Killer Shark Caught Off The California Coast

Daaaang!

Monday morning, a team of fishermen filming an Outdoor Channel Reality Show called, “The Professionals,” caught an 11 ft. 1,323.5 lb. Mako Shark off the coast of Huntington California in the Sea of Cortez. The shark is currently being verified as … Continue reading

It’s The Most Wonderful Week of the Year

Not gonna lie, Shark Week is my favorite week of the year. Mostly because I love the great white shark and I am devoted to rediscovering the MEGALODON ALIVE! But ever since I chartered this tugboat into the absurd of a … Continue reading

A Bittersweet Day for Shark Enthusiasts

What if I told you there was a private yacht in existence with a 120 ton aquarium on board? Well there is. Matter of fact, the private floating aquarium is for one fish only: DEADLY SHARKS. If you’re like me … Continue reading

Teef Terror 2011: The Bigger They Are…

Greetings landlubbers, ’tis your ol’ pal here to once again tell my tale of woe from the HECK of TEEF TERROR 2011! It’s been a long time since the littlest Great White Shark, Angry Baby morphed into “Queen La-Teef-a.” Matter of … Continue reading

Hurry up already.

If there’s one thing the slow, painful, Karma-slapping march into selfless parent land has taught me, it’s the virtue of patience. As my inner jerk continues its metamorphosis into an inner Gandhi, I have notably shed some horrid past habits … Continue reading

Here are some AWESOME Shark Week 2011 bites!

Ah Shark Week 2011, what gems and pearls of chum have you lain upon our waters, so far? I’ve learned a few things this year Already, like: Did you know that Great White Sharks can get a tan? Actually, they … Continue reading

Shark Scientists: This is how you do it.

Ok all you Space folks, I know you’re bummed about that thing from the 80’s (the space shuttle,) being discontinued. I’m here to remind you of the OTHER SCIENTIFIC OPPORTUNITIES that could benefit from us no longer throwing our money away on $5,000,000 … Continue reading

Shark Week 2011 aka THE GREATEST WEEK EVER.

For over 20 years, Shark Week has been rocking our faces off with incredible footage, awesome tales and killer voiceovers. SHARK WEEK IS THE GREATEST EVENT ON TELEVISION. Every year. Shark Week 2011 kicks off July 31st. I’m chompin’ at … Continue reading

UPDATE! Teef Terror 2011: The lion sleeps to bite.

Angry baby is sleeping. Shhhhhh! We’ll wake her. I’ve lowered my body temperature,  heart-rate and breathing to make as little waves as possible. You know how sharks are!! They have amazing sense of electronic fields, impulses and changes in temperature gradient thanks … Continue reading