Artist Depicts 90’s Cartoon Characters On Drugs

The Nineties are back. From television and movies, to fashion that looks like an old episode of MTV’s House of Style puked on a County Seat, everything nineties is cool again. I saw a BODYSUIT on a mannequin last weekend, … Continue reading

The Girl Scout Cookie Finder Phone App (Because, America)

  Happy Girl Scout Cookie Season, y’all! Are you a fan of the overpriced (but for a good cause) confections peddled by little ladies in green vests? If you’re like me, you can’t get enough of those classic cookies, from … Continue reading

The Hairbrush Flask: For the Undercover Lady Drunk in Your Life

Let’s face it, sometimes life requires you have a little hooch to get through the monotony, that why man invented the flask. Be it in a meeting, some theatre playing a Jennifer Aniston movie, or during Holiday shopping, sometimes you need … Continue reading

Happy Skanks and Candy Day!

Happy Halloween, beautiful readers! Today is the day when you shimmy into poorly constructed polyester costumes and drink the pain of the upcoming holidays away.   As for my plans? Rather than dress up as a “Slutty _____,” <–(insert any noun) I’m squiring the sturdiest and angriest … Continue reading

Somewhere Over The CAPTION THIS WINNERS!

“Hookers and cocaine and booze, oh my!” -ABall Runners Up: “The DEA is still investigating just what those bricks are made of.”- ABAuntie “Do not take the Brown Acid. Repeat. Do not take the Brown Acid.” – Uncle Fester … Continue reading

It’s Official: Alcohol Makes You Smarter!

Last month, for those of you sober enough to remember it, I introduced you to the University of Wisconsin Study that found daydreaming made you smarter through enhancing your “Working Memory Capacity.” Well, guess what babies, there’s a NEW study … Continue reading

The Booze-quet: This Changes Everything!

For thousands of years, stupid flowers have been hogging the affection stage. Anytime there’s an event where love is present: Weddings, dances, holidays, funerals, flowers are sure to be there, stinking up the joint with their lousy petals. Phooey on goody-goody floral … Continue reading

Worst Dine and Dash Evah!!!

Tired. So very tired. I tossed and turned for the better part of the night and as luck would have it, Angry Baby decided to wake up for the day at 5:30am. Did I mention she’s TEETHING and in the … Continue reading

Wheel of I Told You So

This post was originally titled: “Wheel of Hate.” It was going to be all about how Wheel of Fortune’s Pat Sajak and Vanna White hate each other culminating in my findings from a special 4 month-long internet quest to find proof that Pat and Vanna wish the … Continue reading