Chocolate Toothpaste: Go Home Crest, You’re Drunk

Good oral hygiene. In addition to being the cornerstone of health and beauty, a bright and shining smile is the quickest way to get a random stranger to buy you a wine spritzer at your favorite singles bar. For decades, Crest brand … Continue reading

Gimmie Gimmie, I Need: Pickle Flavored Candy Canes!

Halloween is in less than 48 hours. While children are strategically planning how to get the MOST and BEST candy, tricks are finishing the details on their slutty costumes and boozehounds are getting ready to be blackout drunk. Me? I’m … Continue reading

Worldwide Bacon Shortage Predicted

Bacon lovers of the world, you’re gonna need to sit down for this post. I have some terribly hilarious heartbreaking news.  A UK Group, The National Pig Association is predicting Europe’s bacon supply will continue to quickly deteriorate and the world will … Continue reading

Last-minute, Moustache-Have Gifts

Well well well, look at all of you procrastinators out there! Tomorrow starts Hanukkah and Christmas is less than a week away. If I know you time-wasting, lollygaggers correctly, there are a ton of y’all out there scrambling looking for last-minute … Continue reading