Limited-less

Oh the places we will go this year, America! While the world waits to see what drama springs forth from our newly formed Banana Republic, 2017 is off to a dubious start. 11 days into the new year, and our beloved country … Continue reading

Tricks or Tramps

It’s no secret that this ol’ culture vulture lurves Halloween. Creepy creeps, spooky ghouls, and candy, what’s not to love!? In the past couple of decades, however, Halloween has added another element that I love, sluts slutting it up! Each year, costumes get … Continue reading

Signs O’ The End Times: JNCO JEANS ARE COMING BACK

Look, I know I was supposed to hook you skanks up with the latest dispatch from my empire forged from plastic and little girl squeals of hapiness, but we’ve got some serious sh*t to discuss this morning. You’ll just hafta wait … Continue reading

OH MY GOURD: Pumpkin Fest Ends In Pummeling

Yesterday in the early hours of the morning, a small town’s treasured tradition erupted into a riot. Residents of Concord, New Hampshire and students from Keene State College were enjoying 2014  Pumpkin Fest, a yearly pumpkin carving Bacchanalia filled with pumpkiny delights, … Continue reading

So It’s Come To This: Cotton Candy Flavored Grapes

My mother died peacefully in her sleep Monday night. I’m not ready to blog about it, but rest assured that I’ll address it fully when I’m able. Currently, my life is awash in tears, hugs, laughter, and an overwhelming amount of love and … Continue reading

Signs Of The End Times: Birkenstocks Are BACK

  You’ll have to forgive me, I’m still half hung over and in a meat coma from yesterday’s “girls night out.” See, I had the brilliant idea to book us a table at my favorite Brazilian Steakhouse and my best … Continue reading

America’s Top Google Searches By State (The Jokes Write Themselves)

Ah America! If we’re not watching cat videos on YouTube or “researching” cake farts, chances are most Americans use Google search as their internet spirit guide. The good folks at Estately decided to break down the top Google searches for … Continue reading

Signs Of The End Times: Library Asked To Ban Hop On Pop

Canada, our neighbors to the north, have a reputation for being courteous, kind and well-mannered. Zzzzzz…bo-ring, bring a book! Speaking of books, yesterday it was revealed that a Toronto library has been in a months long investigation involving a title … Continue reading

VELVEETA CRISIS! (Terror Threat Level: Creamy Yellow)

The End Times are here and now is the moment to panic! Sound the alarm and batten down the hatches, because sh*t’s about to get real. Kraft foods, a stalwart in the processed food game, released some pretty not-chill news yesterday: … Continue reading

Unusual Baby Names List For 2013 (Alternate Title: We’re Doomed)

Each December, the website Baby Center proves that it’s useful for one shining moment when they release their list, “Most Unusual Baby Names of The Year.” Truthfully, the list should be called, “Names That Champion the Apocalypse.” Nothing gives us … Continue reading