Nowhere to Go But Up

Well, well, well, America, look what you did ya little jerk. After years of enduring internet flame wars, a 24-hour news cycle, and the cancer that is social media, our country is now in a fight for her identity. Y’all, IDGAF about … Continue reading

The Most Delicious Domestic Dispute, Ever

The Great White North, Canada is starting to emerge as the hilarious drunk cousin to our Florida. Last month I wrote about a group of Canadian Teachers who duped a bunch of 8th graders into thinking they were getting to … Continue reading

A Letter To Cribsy From the Holy See (Ya Later)

In my last dispatch,  I wrote about the REAL reason Pope Benedict XVI decided to kick his papacy to the curb. Because the internet is a beautiful thing the Holy See saw his way to write in and dispell all the … Continue reading

When Do The Lies Stop, Pizza Hut!?

Pizza Hut, the AMERICAN CREATED chain of cheese-slinging pizza joints, made news on my humble little drunk tank of a website 2 weeks ago when it was revealed that the Pizza jerks created a HOTDOG STUFFED CRUST PIZZA (complete with … Continue reading

Hostess is Crumbling

Sound the sirens, engage your emergency worst case scenario plan, grab your bug-out bag and go to your fall out shelter, it’s the end times. America, I have some horrible news that you’re going to shame eat a box of Twinkies over … Continue reading

I’ll have the Nachos with a side of leering, please.

Last night I met my mother in law for dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. This is a place we frequent with her, the food is decent, but more importantly, it’s never crowded and the wait staff leaves you alone, … Continue reading

The Greatest Resignation Letter Ever

Whole Foods Employees are just like us!!! They hate Whole Foods too!!!!! Making the rounds on the internets is a humdinger of a resignation letter. All of the names have been removed, but you’ll get the spirit of the thing. It puts the company on a … Continue reading

Say it with Glitter.

The Bachmann clinic, got a visit from a group of well-dressed barbarians today, GAY BARBARIANS. That was the fanciest, sparkliest, funniest protest ever. The Truth: Back at the beginning of the millennium, (love saying that, it sounds so futuristic!) I … Continue reading

Harrison Ford only speaks the truth.

Remember that bowel movement of a movie Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull? Yeah, I’ve pretty much forgotten it too. Well, after the movie was long gone Shia LeBeouf came out and criticized the flick. At the time I was very relieved … Continue reading

This is a little awkward for me.

Friday, after reading my “takin’ it to the streets” post, a friend of mine posted the following on her Facebook: “ this is a funny blog, mom with a baby does not sugarcoat her endeavors with her offspring!” Almost instantly, she had … Continue reading