Hot Enough For Ya?

In case you haven’t been paying attention, it’s hot as a crotch out there. I can hear you jackals now, “Durrr duh, it’s August you dumb dummy.”

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Meanwhile, in Texas.

Yes, we’re in the cruel and prolonged death throes of the Summer season. Oh sure, it’ll be hot as balls here through October, but back to school time is a mere saint’s whisper away. School supplies are currently taking up all the best shelves in Target while teachers suffer through hours of mind-numbing inservice silently lamenting, “where did the time go?”  

Just because it’s a zillion degrees and “swamp nuts” is the prevailing scent at every public place, doesn’t mean you can’t cool off for a moment enjoying some breezy eye-candy, hand knitted just for you by ME, your loyal and leering curator.

 

So shirk that responsibility for a bit, and get ready to fall in love! Without further adieu, I give you HOT CROTCHES IN HOT CROCHET!

 

First up, Tip o’ the mushroom tip to ya!

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This next one proves: THERE’S ALWAYS POTENTIAL FOR A MOVIE TIE-IN

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For many of you football fanatics out there, this is the natural progression of things.

 

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Will you be read for a Dongbie Appocalypse?

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Ssssssexthy snake!

 

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The truth? That banana is straight up adorable! (Not the best thing to say to a peen though!)

 

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Weiner Doggy-Style!

 

 

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Makin’ Bacon

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Oh to be a stripe of mustard on that well-packaged, package!

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And my personal favorite, for all my fellow POLE SMOKERS!

 

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Too shy to ask your aunt Hattie to make one?  You can buy all of these lovelies starting at 20.00 HERE on Etsy. Oh Etsy, DON’T EVER CHANGE!