Pat Sajak’s Give A Crap is Busted Beyond Repair

For years, I’ve been your field guide to the absurd, drunken, nonsense parade that is the interweb. One of my earliest posts, addressed Mr. Pat Sajak, host of television’s Wheel of Fortune. Matter of fact, anytime America’s favorite Keebler Elf makes news, I cover it.

Oy vey.

Precious!

 

Pat is much like you and I. He’s a bitter old queen steeped in gin that despises his job and is ready to shank a coworker (the always perfect, Vanna White.) But, a check’s a check, and Pat triumphs on with a terrible attitude and sarcasm radiating from every pore…celebrities, JUST LIKE US! 

Even his press photos are sarcastic.

Even his press photos are sarcastic.

For those of you new to class, you might want to read my WHEEL OF HATE.

Anybankruptcyspaces, there’s a clip of our hero making the rounds that I simply HAD to share with you. As usual, some dumb dummys are doing stupid crap on Wheel, when Pat decides he’s had enough moron for the day and walks off the set. Watch the breathtaking clip below, and know this is EXACTLY what it looks like when someone says, “I quit this b*tch.”

 

Fun fact: Come December, you can pretty much see this same “storm off” repeatedly at Santa’s workshop. Pat’s not the only elf with no tolerance for foolery. See, Fatty McClaus is a REAL DIVA come Christmas time, and the elves can only drink so many thimblefuls of elderberry wine before sh*t gets real. Yep, much like Mr. Sajak, the elves really DGAF.

IDGAF

Oh Pat! You’re trapped dealing with idiots for eternity, and for that I am so very sorry. Everyone knows that Wheel of Fortune is Jeopardy for dipsh*ts, and only the most slack-jawed of Americans aspire to durrrr it up at your Wheel. Thankfully, you can console yourself with vats of morning dew drops and piles of cold hard cash, because let’s face it, much like a paid escort or a manager at Shoney’s, you’re still going to endure humiliation on a grand scale to get that money, honey.

Nowhere to go but up!

Nowhere to go but up!

 

via

(Thanks, MT!)