Nowhere to Go But Up!

Greetings my dearest and most trusted readers! Chances are that as you read this you’re a real gloomy gus, as today is THE MOST DEPRESSING DAY OF THE YEAR! The holidays are officially over and while you most likely spent the … Continue reading

Finally, A Slap-Fight I’d PAY to See.

It’s no secret sh*t is out of control right now. Those self-righteous stunt queens with horrid grooming habits, ISISSSS, have f*cked with the wrong people for the last damn time. Not only does Vladdy Putin have his nuts in a … Continue reading

Wino Weekend 2015

Listen, there’s a sh*t ton of stuff I need to fill you beauties in on. For starters, my kid is 5 now, she was a hotdog for Halloween and thanks to her “Hotdog Dance,” she garnered a crowd of 30+ people who cheered on: “go … Continue reading

Karen Walker, Motivational Speaker

With her luscious brunette locks, penchant for guzzling gin, and razor sharp wit, it’s no surprise that Karen Walker from tv’s Will & Grace, is my spirit animal. For those of you too busy at church to know who she is, … Continue reading

Is it the Willenium Yet?

Well kids, we made it. Somehow we’ve managed to sluggishly pull our hungover haunches across yet another home plate of a year and shame eat stale Christmas candy in the pantry, er, dugout of life. Whatever, you know I’m crap with the sports … Continue reading

It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday: RIP Delia’s

  Yesterday I read some devastating news that is pretty much confirmation that the dream of the 1990’s is dead. Delia’s or dELiA*s to it’s customers and fans, is filing for bankruptcy. For everyone with a modicum of testosterone flowing … Continue reading

Paging Mr. Herman: A NEW PEE WEE MOVIE OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED!

Over 2 years ago, I first wrote that a new Pee Wee Movie was in the works, read the original post HERE. Well, because every movie takes freaking years to get made the film kinda hasn’t been discussed much since, leaving diehards like … Continue reading

Finally, Some Good News

Greetings, dearest readers. When we last met, I was on my way to my mother’s funeral, poised to deliver the Eulogy. Today, I come to you as a newly-minted, fully realized adult. My family and I survived the day, and while I’m … Continue reading

Popsicle + Alcohol =Boozesicles

Happy Summer, y’all! This past weekend we kicked Spring to the curb and are now officially in the times of heat, swimsuits, outdoor BBQ’s and POPSICLES! But what happens when the mosquitoes swarm, sun blisters, and the sweat flows? Why, because it’s … Continue reading

Get a Load of These Gross Salads

Ah January! It’s the time of the year when most of us decide to detox and return to a healthier, less crap-filled diet, and ramp up the (GASP!) physical activity. Oh sure, 99% of everyone will quit that sh*t in … Continue reading