Bands of Gold

Well hello there pretty babies, didja miss me? In the weeks since we last spoke, I’ve gotten back from Kenya only to get on a plane for Jersey three days later. MY DAD IS MARRIED, Y’ALL! But fear not my … Continue reading

Nowhere to Go But Up

Well, well, well, America, look what you did ya little jerk. After years of enduring internet flame wars, a 24-hour news cycle, and the cancer that is social media, our country is now in a fight for her identity. Y’all, IDGAF about … Continue reading

In Rainbows

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s days like today that I’m so proud to live in the greatest country that ever existed in the history of time, I’m talking about Texas, of course. While the other states have perfectly … Continue reading

Say Hello to 2017’s First Anthem (Alternate Title: You’re Welcome)

Once upon a time there was a hilarious, captivating and vainglorious beauty that for half a decade stunk up the internet with toilet humor and accounts of her nefarious dealings. Then the flaming diaper of 2016 happened. That fabled anti-hero … Continue reading

The New Abnormal

Look, I’m sorry I’ve kept y’all waiting so long; I’ve been preoccupied with helping Kitty on her road to recovery. Often when a loved one gets incredibly sick for an extended time, Doctors, Nurses, and other medical professionals will utter … Continue reading

Fudge You, Cancer

Seeing as this lazy woman’s crusade to charter the seas of sheer nonsense has been around for over half of a decade, there are certain patterns that show themselves. One being that when yours truly, AKA Cribsy, is gone for … Continue reading

More Plot Twists Than Dynasty

Shimmy into your finest evening gown, or put on a Botany 500 Suit and meet me on the terrace for elaborately choreographed cat brawls and classy slapfights. I’m back with some juicy new developments that are sure to spawn hours of content and … Continue reading

Nowhere to Go But Up!

Greetings my dearest and most trusted readers! Chances are that as you read this you’re a real gloomy gus, as today is THE MOST DEPRESSING DAY OF THE YEAR! The holidays are officially over and while you most likely spent the … Continue reading