No, they aren’t being sued for making kale seem glamorous, trafficking tofu or harboring rich a-holes too good for the Sack N Save. Whole foods and Trader Joe’s are being sued for something far more dastardly and exciting. The two biggest sluts … Continue reading
When I started this clap-trap hobo parlor of a website almost 2 years ago, it was mainly a coping skill to deal with the stresses of living with a tiny, furious, despot, Angry Baby. In the time since, grouchymuffin has … Continue reading
I live in a suburb of Houston, Texas. Katy, the land of Alpha Moms and A-Hole Dads. People in these parts are obsessed with suburban perfection and don’t mind going in debt up to their eyeballs just to keep up with … Continue reading
Queen Beyoncé the lip synching illuminati high priestess, has had a heckuva few weeks. She sang for the inauguration and last week she power thrusted her babymaker through a halftime spectacular. I skipped it. Matter of fact, I haven’t even watched it online. Why? Simply … Continue reading
This past week I’ve been enjoying time on the family ranch, and while the Liberty Longhorn Ranch is still my favorite place on planet Earth, I have to say: I’m thrilled to be home. Scorpions, hormonal women, MORE SCORPIONS, unsuccessful hunting, and a clumsy … Continue reading
Even though Halloween 2012 is officially over, I still have some horrific delights to share with you. See, I’m fully aware that most of you are ghouls who love to watch Angry Baby’s brutal shenanigans from a comfortable distance. I … Continue reading
Do you like watching people writhe in misery? Does the thought of listening to hours of relentless screaming make you giggle? Can you find enjoyment where others only see torture? If you answered, “yes” to any of these questions, you … Continue reading
2 years ago this very day, I gave birth to the Angriest little jellybean the world has ever witnessed. We immediately began calling her Angry Baby. Since then, Doctors, Nurses, innocent bystanders and deserving family have all fallen victim to her burning hot … Continue reading
One of Alec Baldwin’s greatest and most infamous roles, is that of Blake, the brass ball-holding demon sent from corporate in the 1992 film, Glengarry Glen Ross. In an abusive and perfectly written monologue, Blake explains that the key to a successful … Continue reading
It’s a burning question that ne’er do wells and evil folks like yours truly ask ourselves everyday: “What if the Disney Villains had won?” Since I was a toddler, I’ve identified and rooted for the bad guy, why…I’ve even got an extensive collection … Continue reading