Drop Kicking Monkey (Because, Monday)

Lauded treasures of children’s lit, Margaret and H.A. Rey, the duo responsible of the Curious George series,  are lying pieces of crap. George’s 100% made-up shenanigans helped foster an acceptance of big yellow hats and more disturbingly, a love of monkeys. Long-considered a charming and adorable trixter, the … Continue reading

“Living Fossil Shark” Found In Australia (Y’all Know Where I’m Going With This One.)

For many of you, my humble little joke shanty of a blog is merely entertainment, a way to laugh the productivity away, and for that I am grateful. Honestly, there’s no greater honor than getting to help you goof off … Continue reading

Toy Rave: Goldie Blox

Yesterday, I set the internets on fire with my hate-filled diatribe against Crayola’s Color Wonder Fingerpaints. I figured today I would talk about a GREAT toy, since that wheezy old queen Santa Claus just loves to keep score this time … Continue reading

Tinkle Tinkle, Little Star

Every mother thinks their child is a brilliant rainbow of genius perfection, I am no exception. The difference is, I know that you don’t want to hear about it. Let’s face it, listening all about other people’s allegedly intelligent children qualifies as a … Continue reading

Mysterious Lake Turns Every Animal That Touches it to Stone

Lake Natron in Tanzania is a big time stoner. However, unlike your old roommate in college, this stoner isn’t an easygoing cool dude chock-full of burnout wisdom with an affinity for late night fast food runs. Nope, Lake Natron is a … Continue reading

Humans Are Going to Look Super Creepy in 100,000 Years

Researcher Nickolay Lamm and Dr Alan Kwan an expert in computational genomics from the University of Washington, joined forces to postulate what humans might look like 100,000 years in the future The results are bizarre and vaguely familiar. Yes, I know- homegirl is … Continue reading

Massive ‘Jurassic’ Yellow Jacket Nest Found in Florida (Of Course it Was)

Welp, another GOLD STAR goes to Florida, once again they’ve managed to terrify and entertain the world just by being themselves. Anyone who’s ever spent more than 5 minutes in America’s swamp knows that Florida is essentially a humid Hell straight from … Continue reading

Record Huge Killer Shark Caught Off The California Coast

Monday morning, a team of fishermen filming an Outdoor Channel Reality Show called, “The Professionals,” caught an 11 ft. 1,323.5 lb. Mako Shark off the coast of Huntington California in the Sea of Cortez. The shark is currently being verified as … Continue reading

Science Can Now Read A Brain Scan to See Who You are Thinking About (Oh Crap.)

Better come clean about that unicyclist you dated all those years ago and still pine over today. While you’re at it, might as well share with your lover who you’re mentally picturing when you two make out, because it’s only a matter of time … Continue reading

Science Claims Beer Goggles Don’t Exist (“Yes They Do,” Says Every Frat Boy)

 Welp, you’re going to have to come up with a new excuse as to why you love to do it with hideous uglies when you’re drunk, because researchers have concluded that Beer Goggles are a myth. The buzz-killing, excuse-removing a-holes … Continue reading