RED ALERT! WE HAVE IMPORTANT BREAKING AND REFRESHING NEWS! WOOP WOOP WOOP! RED ALERT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Last night while I was shame-eating a Double Dave’s pizza roll from my purse (that I had previously wrapped in a napkin at lunch because it shouldn’t have gone to waste,) I got a fantastic bit of news from one of our dearest readers, Gabe. Due to the overwhelming joy I’m currently feeling, I’ll go ahead and cut to the chase:
Hi-C is bringing back ECTO motherf*cking COOLER! ZOMGZOMGZOMG, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!
I can’t even begin to describe the unbridled, child-like glee I feel in typing the words: ECTO COOLER IS COMING BACK THIS SUMMER, (WHICH IS PRACTICALLY HERE)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen, you know how the search bar works, feel free to read through the litany of ECTO COOLER SHOUTOUTS on this very blog over the years. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m partially responsible for the resurrection of this High-Fructose gift from the Gods, so…YOU’RE WELCOME!
Oh to taste that SWEET, SWEET chemical amalgamation once more. People, I was excited when Surge, Clearly Canadian, Crystal Pepsi, re-appeared in production. While all of those reboots have been delicious, they can all take a backseat to ECTO COOLER! The color of expired highlighter fluid, with the citrus taste of toxic waste, Ecto Cooler was the beverage of choice in our Ghostbusters-centric household.
For years, Hi-C repackaged the blissful bev, only to finally discontinue the Ecto recipe over a decade ago. HEARTBREAKING!
But all of those tears of loss can dry now, for the inevitable tie-in with the all-female Ghostbusters reboot, Ecto cooler, will be gracing our lips in a mere saint’s whisper.
Speaking of the new movie coming out, unlike most of the bitter queens out there, I’m REALLY looking forward to it. Not only is the cast solid, Paul Feig is brilliant. I know ball polishers of Bill Murray will maintain that the new GB is blasphemous, and to y’all I say: THERE’S NO WAY IT WILL BE AS SH*TTY A MOVIE AS GHOSTBUSTERS 2 WAS!
Anysyrupyslurrys, in addition to scouting the entire juice/sports beverage aisle from now until Ecto Cooler hits the shelves, I’ll be scouring the internets for updates regarding this PRECIOUS CARGO! When it’s available, YOU’LL HEAR IT HERE FIRST!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to go start calculating how many cases it will take to replace all of the saltwater in my pool with Ecto Cooler, I’m GOING GREEN, BABY! ECTO PARTY AT MY HOUSE!
via (Thanks, Gabe!)