Paperback to the Future

If you’re like me, vast swaths of your childhood were devoted to voracious reading. Maybe it’s because the internet was more Computer Science than the misinformation super highway it is today, or perhaps our parents were simply book-pushing jerks. Regardless, books were choice tools of entertainment.

I'm not kidding, this is a real book cover. THE BEST BOOK COVER, EVER.

I’m not kidding, this is a real book cover. THE BEST BOOK COVER, EVER.

Paperback Paradise, a Twitter account that debuted last month, remembers that heady time when Beverly Cleary, Gordon Korman, Judy Blume, Lois Lowry, and Piers Anthony, were legends in chore-avoidance and rainy-day reads.  Much like you and I, Paperback Paradise has spent the interim years soaking in a hot tub filled with Gin and bad decisions, the wicked geniuses have given all of your favorite YA Fiction a modern-day makeover!!!

Modern-Day truth, politics are a real bummer: 


Awww, some things never change! 

Beats a dumb Quija board.

Sleepover Memories!

I think we’ve all had this 1000 yard stare before: 

Real girl world problems.

Real girl world problems.

Creeping Wildcat for the win: 

He sees what you did there

He sees what you did there

TRIGGER WARNING!!!! (whatever that means)


Not today, Satan!

Even the beloved and hallowed Madeleine “Motherf*cking  A Wrinkle in Time” L’Engle isn’t off-limits!

I can't stop laughing.

I can’t stop laughing.

As one could predict, the twin Hitler Youth AKA Jessica and whatever the other one was named, the stars SWEET VALLEY HIGH SERIES, are well represented. F*cking creepy-assed hoes always bored the living sh*t out of me: 







Oh snap! This next book is sad but true: 



Dear Mr. Henshaw, your dog’s a real d*ck: 

Damn, dawg.

Damn, dawg.

Speaking of Cold as Hell canines: 

We don't need no water.

We don’t need no water.

Holy Crap, this is really taking a dark turn! 

Safe and bloodcurtling sound.

Safe and bloodcurdling sound.

Time to take this back to the shallow end, kiddies, this is derived from Kid-Lit, after all! 

Haven't we all!?

Haven’t we all!?

The modern tale of Tiger tells a more accurate story: 

Funny cuz it's true!

Funny cuz it’s true!

This updated Nancy Drew is both relatable, and asking life’s IMPORTANT questions: 

I wouldn’t call it “dating,” Nancy.

In closing, the most honest of them all: 

Thanks for sharing, Gramps.

Thanks for sharing, Gramps.



via (Thanks J.E.) 


Paperback to the Future — 4 Comments

  1. The Sweet Valley Twins remakes were my favorite! LOL, “You took that sweater from a dead body”….ah, the memories

    • That’s why I saved it till the end, I knew it would DESTROY you. I almost captioned it: “L4L, don’t you go there at lunch!”

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