My birthday is less than a month away. With the blood curdling and brutal chill of today’s weather, I am feeling each and every one of my years on Earth. But you know what? Unlike all the other whiny complaint factories who p*ss and moan about growing a year older, I’m choosing to CELEBRATE.
See from the age of 24-on, I’ve always joked about “being so old,” when in reality, I was a baby. Now, I’m most decidedly no longer a “baby,” but I’m not a shriveled crone either. Truthfully, we should all be so lucky as to reach old age, think of all the perks old folx get:
Seats in crowded places
Senior Citizen discounts
Being able to say WHATEVER is on your mind
Making youngsters cater to your every whim
and MOST importantly, NOT GIVING A FLYING F*CK ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK!
So, chug some Geritol, blurt out something harsh, and tell those kids to get offa your lawn, today we’re celebrating the golden oldies who really have no f*cks left to give.
When in doubt, make up your own punchline:
Always share your opinions about burgeoning youth culture:
Get Enjoyment out of your hobbies:
This Hoss is lapping us all in the witty shirt department:
Dance like no strippers are watching:
Age doesn’t mean you can’t still remain up to date on current trends and slang:
This guy is here to help:
Good to know:
In other pink shirts on Senior Citizens news:
One of the BEST things about getting older? HATING IT ALL:
Speaking of Haters:
Remember, CONFIDENCE is your best beauty treatment!
AND whatever you do, KEEP THE PARTY GOING!
Make the MOST of HERE AND NOW!
Use your wisdom and find a way to get what you want, always:
And finally, there are no words. This man is not only MY FAVORITE of the bunch, he’s also BOYFRIEND MATERIAL!