We Tried It: Rebooted SURGE Soda

Last week, I wrote all about Coca-Cola finally caving to nostalgic internet demand and reviving the product SURGE soda. If you haven’t done the required reading, I’ll wait: do so now.  I promised you, fateful readers, that the moment my precious case of 90’s refreshment arrived at my doorstep, I would document the delicious experience for you. That moment is now.

BEHOLD! The revived SURGE SODA!!!!

re-SURGE-nce!

re-SURGE-nce!

 

There are just a couple of differences:

1. They now come in 16oz “Tall Boy,” cans.

Surge in the larger portion packs a testosterone-charged 69mg of caffeine (69-dude!)

2. The can has the caloric count on the front.

I usually skip drinking anything this calorie-rich that doesn’t involve BOOZE, but the 230 calories one of these babies will set you back is entirely worth it. Me? I’m using one as a breakfast meal replacement this fine morning.

After 45 minutes in the freezer, my resurrected energy drink was ready to chug. For fun, I poured some in a glass to see if my neon-green beacon of refreshment still looked the same…it does.

Its all coming back to you.

Its all coming back to you.

Now, the part all of you have been waiting for, HOW IT TASTES!

Surge tastes just like I remember, unlike other nostalgic bring-backs, Coca-Cola used all the original (terrible for you) ingredients, there are no gluten-free organic vegans in this mojo, it’s got 100% of the chemicals you were originally addicted to all those years ago, USAUSAUSA!

While Surge looks like sparkling toxic waste,  the old familiar citrus zing that’s SUPERIOR to Mountain Dew, is present. SURGE IS FAR MORE DELICIOUS, WHY IS MOUNTAIN DEW STILL ALLOWED TO EXIST!? SURGE vastly improved on the ‘Dew thus making it obsolete!

Down with dew!

Down with dew!

Look, I’m not going to promise the moment you sip a new Surge, that you’ll sprout Oakleys, white boy dread locks, and start dancing in a mosh pit, but it’s pretty dang close. True story, after chugging my inaugural 16 oz. can, I hallucinated and saw the Ghost of Chris Farley hi-fiving Fred Durst at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. Oh 1990’s nostalgia, how I adore your delicious green nectar!

Sadly, Amazon is currently out of Surge, with no stock in the foreseeable future. Because of the HUGE DEMAND and tiny supply, many internet jerks are charging over $150.00 for a 12 pack of these puppies. FYI: They originally cost Amazon prime members like yours truly, a measly 14 bucks total. Until Coke pulls their head out of their hacky sack, and puts Surge production into overtime, new Surge is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get.

Or IS it?

NOW, AN EXTREME ANNOUNCEMENT!

'Sup Brah!?

‘Sup Brah!?

 

I’m going to mail one lucky reader their very own can of SURGE!

I’ve never really done a “contest,” back in the day I did Caption This contests, but all I did for a prize was allow the winner to choose a post on request. This one is a straight-up legit contest. All you need to do to enter is email me your favorite 90’s thing that you wish would make a re-SURGE-nce. Winner will be chosen at random, so no need to be clever!

Contest ends 9/29 at 11:59pm, please mail entries to grouchymuffin@gmail.com

GOOD LUCK!

 

 


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