Back in 2012, snack food stalwart Hostess went belly up, and all of their delights temporarily left grocery shelves. Twinkie Crisis ’12 was thoroughly chronicled on this very site. Mercifully, the Hostess brand was purchased and a few months later their iconic treats were back to assaulting our waistlines.
In honor of it being a year since Hostess triumphantly returned to stores, CEO William Toler announced that they are reviving the rare and elusive CHOCODILE!
Chocodiles are essentially chocolate covered Twinkies, that until now, were only sold/marketed on the west coast.
Starting this week, everyone in the good ol’ USofA will have access to these glorious unicorns dipped in waxy mocklate. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!
Here’s the official packaging, so you know what to look for:
Quick packaging question: WHY IS TWINKIE THE KID WEARING SUNGLASSES and dubbing this “the summer of Twinkies!?”
For starters, as I’ve said before THIS IS THE SUMMER OF THE CUCUMBER: drinks, foods, scents, SUMMER 2014 IS ALL ABOUT THE CUKES!
Secondly, Twinkie needs to take off the sunglasses and turn down the creep-o vibe just a smidge. Hate to say it, but he looks like he’s eye-f*cking us all behind those shades.
Drop the glasses and get back to lassoing children into obesity, buddy. We like our Twinkie the Kid sans cool dude shades, thank you very much.
Speaking of awful spokesman missteps, what in the Hell is going on with the Chocodile mascot, Chauncey?
With his tiny glasses, affinity for cream filled logs, and that come hither pose, Chauncey makes Snagglepuss look more masculine than the Marlboro Man riverboat gambling with John Wayne.
Apparently Chauncey the Chocodile’s slogan is, “It takes a long time to eat a Chocodile.” Ummm, thanks for sharing? I guess the years of cruising truckstop restrooms for hasty hookups has left Chauncey’s “snack cake” desensitized. So let this be a lesson, if you want to slide Chauncey into your mouth, it’ll take awhile to finish him off.
Anychocotramps, these chocolate dipped wonders are already being shipped out, so I’ll be scouring my local grocery stores and greasy gas stations to get my hands on box. See, much like Queen Chauncey, I’m not above hitting the ho-stroll and shame eating the pain away.
In closing, I’ll use any excuse to shoehorn in a ZZ Top song…
Chocodiles may be bad (for you) but now they’re nationwide!