I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud.
Angry Baby, 3.5 years old, just held up a Cruella DeVil toy and told me that it was, “Mommy.”
“This is you, ” she stated.
As I review the crisp memories of a misspent youth, all of my dastardly doings, scheming, and vibrant red lipstick, has been leading up to this very moment.
My gestures are oversized and frequent, my tastes ostentatious and odd. I’ll stop at nothing for whatever it is I want. I possess an inconsiderate and loud voice that is so perfect, Lover fo’ Life often tells me that my tone, turn of phrase, and manner is like that of a Disney Villain. It should also come as no surprise that I’ve owned a long, dramatic, cigarette holder.
Today, after many years of effortlessly living as a flawless ne’er do well, I am Cruella. Cruella DeVil, the outrageous fashionista with a penchant for wearing animal carcasses, and imposing.
It took a beautiful and perfect genius, AKA my child, to finally recognize that I’ve successfully transformed into my life-long idol.
Sure, like most Disney Villains, in the end, I’ll never win and my evil powers will prove to be greatly ineffective. But I can still dream of the day I rediscover the NON-extinct Megalodon, capture the beast, and train it to feast upon my enemies.
Until then, I’ll just have to bask in the glow of achieving a major life goal.
Though, I’m not sure the kid’s powers of perception are fully honed yet. Soon after deeming me Cruella, she called her Snow Miser toy, “Snow Daddy.”
Everyone knows there’s only ONE snow daddy, Anderson Cooper. Snow Miser, while icy and well-dressed, is not nearly sassy enough to compete with AC.