Post By Mad Dad: Soccer Seasons In The Sun

Soccer Seasons In The Sun

Last fall, I wrote one post about coaching my daughter’s Under-7 soccer team, the Pink Panthers.

Only one because … well, needless to say job No. 1 in my association with this blog is to be funny. And sadly nothing interesting or funny happened in the fall.

Nothing dramatic or even remotely interesting. Mostly because it was … easy.

We scored a lot of goals. We allowed very few. We finished 8-2. Good times had by all. I did anger one parent, but I’m not sure what I did because, well, people like getting angry and then letting it simmer. However, nothing came of it. (Parents are by a million miles the worst part of youth sports.)

I say coaching seven-year-old girls is easy. It, in fact, is. Wrangling parents and step-parents is a different ordeal altogether.

So, we decided to do it again. There’s one difference: As of this month, The Kid has yet to quit playing soccer. In a momentous change of destiny, The Kid’s mad soccer skillz were noticed by a local coach putting together a club team. That was May 2013. She’s not quit playing since. A summer indoor league was followed by the fall recreational and fall club league, then a winter indoor league and now this season. Toss in a few tournaments and we’ve become those parents.

Soccer parents. The absolute worst.

Run for your lives.

Run for your lives.

We wear T-shirts and caps with the team logo. We talk semi-knowledgably of the game. We remember opponents and scout their talent. We take veiled shots at the other team with just enough volume for the other parents to hear it, but not loud enough to be confrontational.

We sit through countless hours of practice and freeze our butts off in defeat.

I think soccer was a means to an end for The Wife. We were in total agreement that sports would be a huge part of our daughter’s life. But I think she thought The Kid would play soccer for a little bit, play some tennis, pick up softball, then basketball and maybe gymnastics.

And although she has been doing tennis lessons (The Wife’s game growing up), it’s been straight soccer for 13 months now so she’s actually started to pay attention more and learn the game.

We gave The Kid a choice on the club team. It would be an additional practice and game a week and less down time. She wanted it. We wanted it because it’s good to be good at something even if it’s your kid who is the one that is good at it. It’s good to have new friends made. Heck, even ol’ Mad Dad has made new friends. And certainly more than a few enemies among the opposing teams.

So, if you’re ever at a youth soccer tournament and you see some angry fella in a COMETS FC T-shirt lobbing effeminate karate kicks at another parent, be sure to say hello.


-Mad Dad


Nice to see you, Mad Dad.

Nice to see you, Mad Dad.


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