Snakes In A Cab (Alternate Title: The Biggest Jerk EVER)

New York Cab driver/ Stunt Queen Jimmy Failla has a new book out all about his adventures driving a cab. To promote the release, and slither into our collective conscience, he decided to pull one low-down, no-good, sh*tty sh*tty, prank. Jimmy brought a massive Albino Python along for his shift. Watch as unsuspecting passengers are reminded why it’s better to skip cabs and just walk it out in NYC.

The beautiful angel at the 1:32 is EXACTLY how I would react. Much like that ol’ scamp Indiana Jones, snakes are my Kryptonite. I act a fool when confronted with any sort of slitherer.

Why did it have to be snakes!?

Why did it have to be snakes!?

I know, a first class creep and scumbag like yours truly, should be all about snakes. Just consider how “supervillain chic” it would be if I started wearing a snake (ala Brit Brit in her MTV VMA performance of “I’m a Slave For U.“) Like my personal hero, Medusa, snakes would really set my whole devastatingly beautiful on the outside/ evil on the inside-vibe

Remember the golden years!

Perfection!

Sadly, I’m a super-nova weenie when it comes to our serpentine friends, a real wimpy-deluxe 5000. That said, I DO have to give Jimmy a golf clap for his positively rotten shenanigans.

In closing, F*CK this guy.

 

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