They’re Bringing Back CRYSTAL PEPSI (Children of the 90’s Rejoice!)

Crystal Pepsi, AKA clear liquid nectar of the GODS, was introduced to the American Marketplace in late 1992. The crisp beverage had a wealth of marketing and advertising bucks behind it. Unfortunately, the color-free drink was ahead of its time, and was an el flop-o. Crystal Pepsi disappeared completely by the end of 1993.


In the decades since Crystal Pepsi went flat, nostalgia for the nineties and all of her pop-cultural abominations, has bubbled over. Pepsi being the money hongray golddiggers that they are, announced Monday they are reviving Crystal Pepsi, and bringing it back in 2014!

According to PepsiCo spokesman Mark Draper:

“Twenty years ago consumers found the soda’s unusual coloring to be off-putting. Now, the novelty of anything associated with the 1990s pretty much guarantees it will sell enough units for us to make some money with it.”

The Crystal Pepsi revival is only going to be a limited run, but you know those sluts will keep slinging it if we lap it up!

So far, PepsiCo hasn’t set a release date other than “sometime in 2014.”

Pepsi bros, don’t leave us hanging! We’re going to need a roll out schedule, RIGHT NOW!


Fun Fact: Crystal Pepsi uses the same formulation as classic Pepsi, except for one final step…a few drops of a special, commercial-grade bleach are added to remove all coloring. Mmmmm, commercial grade bleach! 


Next up, imma need them to bring back Hi-C Ecto Cooler.

Avenge my murder!

Avenge my murder!


(Thanks, Austin!) 


They’re Bringing Back CRYSTAL PEPSI (Children of the 90’s Rejoice!) — 3 Comments

  1. While I am ridiculously excited at the thought of Crystal Pepsi returning to the shelves for a limited run, I’d really, really, really want to get my hands on some ecto-cooler. That was my all-time favorite, and I’d rock it like a champ with the lunch I bring to school. Oh hear my prayers, ye gods of Slimer…

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