Last Week, the Jelly Belly announced a new flavor just in time for the stupor bowl, DRAFT BEER FLAVORED BEANS. It’s pretty fitting when you think about it, because “jelly belly” is exactly what drinking too much draft beer gives you. Ever the selfless, humble, and giving giver, I decided to give them a test drive (all in the interest of science, of course!)
These Draft Beer flavored beans unite two of my well-documented favorite things: alcohol and candy, so it’s fair to say that the hopes were SKY HIGH before I even scored a bag. When you think about it, there’s not nearly enough booze/candy pairings on the market. Other than candy flavored Vodka and those little chocolate cordial bottles you see at the holidays, there’s not much in the genre.
For starters, the beans have a cool pearly gold finish that’s made to remind us of beer foam. In reality, the pretty amber beans look like they’re made out of shampoo. Luckily, these candy suds mimic brew instead of soap. And another thing: the beans are 100% booze free, so you can start those kiddies on the good stuff early and nary a Child Protective Services worker will hassle you!
Look, I know you bloodthirsty sugar junkies are chomping at the bit to hear how these little bits tasted, so I’ll cut to the chase.
Draft Beer Jelly Bellies taste just like the time you were so drunk that you got a ticket for public urination.
Specifically speaking, the beans are inspired by a wheaty Hefeweizen variety of brew, and while they have a sweet and light flavor, the aftertaste is totally beery. To get the full flavor, you’ll need to consume a minimum of 3 beans at a time. I’m not saying these are going to replace my all-time #1 favorite Jelly Belly flavors, peach and cotton candy, but they are pretty dang delicious for a novelty flave.
However, I do have one nagging question: why DRAFT Beer? Couldn’t they have just gone with “Beer?” What is Jelly Belly getting at by making the draught distinction? Perhaps they’re working on a “Canned Beer” flavor that conjures the whale-whiz undertones of Keystone Light, or maybe the glass shards in “Bottled Beer,” proved too risky. Regardless, if you’re into stunt queen food flavors, I highly recommend them.
Bonus! The good folks at Goelitz (the maker of Jelly Belly) have released some official bean pairings for these beauties, enjoy!