Hail To The Chief Time Waster

The job President of the United States is a high-stress and mentally taxing position. It always surprises me that so many people have aspirations to occupy the office, because it’s such a pain in the ass to be Commander in Chief. Endless work, a bunch of politicians kissing your marbles 24/7, and lets not forget that roughly 50% of the nation hates you regardless. NO THANKS!

I’d rather keep my good looks (the office ages all who take it by 10 years in the first 6 months,) and more importantly, I’d rather have as much time to screw around as possible. Forget that whole “for the people,” human robot bullsh*t, I gots to be free.

While you and I are well-schooled in the time-wasting pleasures, it seems some of our past leaders had a taste for lazy nonsense too. Yes, even our presidents have needed a little meeting zone-out time in their grueling schedules. How do I know this? Several of our past Prezzies were doodlers.

See, most of these old sluts were working the Washington Ho-Stroll before the internet. They did not have a wealth of cat videos and fart joke blogs to peruse, they were forced to go old-school and doodle on meeting notes. Think of the doodle as the original way people said: “I’m so bored in this meeting I’m practically in a coma.”

In no particular order, here are some of the Nation’s most accomplished doodles, all were drawn in very important, country-shaping, meetings.

First up, it’s Herbert Hoover 

In addition to being one of the nation’s worst presidents (Hooverville shanty towns for the poor during the Great Depression, anyone?) He apparently moonlighted as a tee-shirt designer for Threadless.

 

Herbert Hoover

 

Andrew Jackson

Jackson a mean SOB who was known for being aggressive and holding a grudge. Nicknamed, “Old Hickory,” due to his unmoving stubbornness, this doodle explains why he was such an ol’ dickory, HE COULDN’T DRAW! Look at this, Dino the dinosaur suffering from a palsy piece of crap, it’s SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALLIGATOR!

andrew jackson

 

Thomas Jefferson

Tommy J was a true Original Gangster on the United States tip. He’s so baller, we call him a “founding father,” but did you know Thomas Jefferson was a slave to the pasta? The trick couldn’t get enough of the stuff. Here’s a doodle he did in office for a “macaroni making machine,” he wanted to invent. But this noodle-doodle isn’t where his love stopped: in 1802 Jefferson became the first president to serve Macaroni and Cheese at the White House. 1802!!!

Thomas Jefferson

 

JFK 

You’ve gotta admit, John F. Kennedy had some heavy sh*t going on during his time in the office. His doodles were known for taking one word and repeating it over and over. Take this one, in addition to the kickass square pattern he wrote “Vietnam,” eight times.

JFK

 

And because you can’t talk about one without the other, Here’s Lyndon Johnson. Gaze into LBJ’s trippy as Hell creature with beautiful lashes and a mouth that looks like a hypnowheel. I’m into it, baby!

LBJ2

 

Franklin Roosevelt doodled a label for US Government created Rum (after Prohibition ended, of course.) The rum project was created to develop commerce in the Virgin Islands. True Story: his Secretary of the Interior wanted to call the stuff, “Peg Leg Rum.” Naturally, the wheelchair bound ruler was opposed to the name and proposed a more dignified less hilarious name, “Colonial Rum.” Still, the hot slut in charge of the New Deal was wasting time drawing booze labels, could he have been any cooler!?

FDR

 

Ronald Reagan

Cute doodles. Some of himself, one of a righteous looking horse, and let’s not forget monocle guy, all in all, these are some top-notch time-wasting cuties. BUT then, he had to turn it up to 11 and end it with a super sweet letter to his wife, Nancy.

“There I was, Doodling away- Then I began to think about you. Soooooo…” (he then drew a heart with their initials.)

Awwwww!

Awwwww!

 

James Garfield drew a family tree of hot dogs. I got nothing but golf claps for such creativity.

Garfield's Hot Dog tree

 

Bill Clinton shows he has a love for ‘Merica…and a healthy self-image, the portait is pretty spot-on.

bill-clinton-doodle

 

Teddy Roosevelt, the king of Manly Men and the Great Outdoors, drew this hilarious “picture letter,” for his daughter, Ethel. The drawing clearly shows Ethel handing out older sibling justice to her two younger brothers. ADORBZ!

teddy rose

 

And finally, the Head B*tch in Charge of Doodles, Dwight D. Eisenhower 

Look at this piece of art, it’s too dang good to be a doodle, this needs a frame right now. Sure, the physique is a little womanly, but the head and face are a perfect portrait of our past president. Overachiever even busted out the shading. ACCENT SHADING ON A MEETING DOODLE!? Breathtaking!

We like it, Ike!

eisenhower

 

 

 

 

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