Roasted Brussels Sprouts Taste Like All of Your Dreams Coming True

I can’t stand Brussels Sprouts. Matter of fact, they are a “drop dead” food, meaning that even if the sweetest Nana in the world made me a plate of them, my response would be, “drop dead, I’m not eating that sh*t.”

A few weeks ago, all of that changed. I was sitting on the can, thumbing through an article on Jezebel that was waxing upon the glory of roasted Brussels sprouts, it got me intrigued enough to try a simple recipe. One bite was all it took to forever quell my sprout-related hatred. Since then, I’ve pretty much had at least 2 servings of roasted Brussels sprouts a day, and unlike your skinny as a roach’s leg health-nut frenemy, I’m not bragging, just merely pointing out how extreme the shift from hate to OBSESSED has been.

Because I’m a helluva gal and a true Mensch, I’ve decided to convince all of you in the Brussels sprout hater column to give them JUST ONE MORE TRY.  When roasted properly, the lowly (fresh) sprouts becomes a crispy, salty, outrageously delicious treat that will have you shoving the suckers faster than you can say, THIS is good for me!?

Fun Fact: This is the EXACT recipe that I am preparing and serving at my family’s Thanksgiving dinner. Make this and not only will your parents pat themselves on the back for having such a responsible child, everyone who gives them a try will mistake you for Wolfgang f*cking Puck.

For starters, you need to use FRESH Brussels sprouts, if you can’t find them at the grocery store, pester the produce dude as they’re often hiding in plain sight in a mesh little bag and look like this:

Come to Cribsy!

Come to Cribsy!

Once you’ve got a bag of these babies, the only other ingredients you will need for this are:

  • Olive oil
  • Kosher Salt
  • Fresh Cracked Pepper
  • Soy Sauce

Amazing Roasted Brussels Sprouts

First things first, set your oven to 400° and let it pre-heat while you prep the sprouts.  Now it’s time for a crash course in prepping. Spoiler alert: even your dumb dummy cousin who thinks North Korea is in China, can do it.

Step one: Rinse off the sprouts and make sure to dry them off, you DO NOT want moist sprouts as moisture leads to steam, and steaming a B-sprout makes it taste like a b-hole.

Step two: Remove any wilted or discolored outer leaves on the sprouts. Durrr. 

Step Three: Cut off the crusty end of the stem. Then cut in half. Place cut sprouts in a mixing bowl.

Easy Peasy

Easy Peasy

Now that your sprouts are prepared and your oven is up to temp, LET’S GET ROASTED!

  1. Toss the halved sprouts in olive oil and make sure they are all coated. Sprinkle a generous amount of kosher salt  and cracked fresh pepper all over them. Toss again to make sure each have a good salt and pepper ratio.
  2. Pour sprouts into a 9×3 baking dish and place on the top rack in the oven. Bake at 400 for 10 Minutes.
  3. Remove sprouts from oven and toss them with a few splashes of soy sauce. (Not a fan of soy sauce? No worries, you can sub balsamic vinegar or skip this step altogether.)
  4. Return to oven and bake for an additional 10 minutes.

Remove the final product, a roasted to perfection pile of heaven. Something magical happens in that hot hot oven, the olive oil and natural juices join forces to caramelize, while the soy sauce removes any lingering “sulfur taste.”

GET IN MAH MAWF!

GET IN MAH MAWF!

The best part? In addition to having the smug satisfaction of converting your friends and family, this decadent dish is a mere 90 calories for a 1 cup serving.  

Enjoy!


Comments

Roasted Brussels Sprouts Taste Like All of Your Dreams Coming True — 5 Comments

  1. Try adding a little sesame oil. You can find it in the Asian food section at the grocery store. It might be the best thing that ever happened to a brussel sprout.

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