Nurse Your Candy Hangover With Something Healthy (GASP!)

Snickers, Kitkats, Skittles, Candy corn, all of these little beauties were marched unceremoniously into my mouth by the fistful last night. And while, I’ll never regret the sweet beat down I gave my pancreas last night, I’ve got a mondo sugar belly today. Sugar belly, for the uninformed, is the nausea that’s caused by eating too damn much candy.

So over it.

So over it.

 

Chances are, you greedy ghouls also ate the sh*t out of some processed sugar last night. You know what they say, sluts of a feather! Well, because I’m truly a giver who lives to give, I’ve decided to share one of my newest and most favorite healthy recipes.

Yeah, I know…taking lifestyle tips from me is akin to asking Joan Rivers for the name of a good plastic surgeon, but…I care about you dirty tramps.

See, “candy hangovers,” lead to lethargy, which translates to y’all not living it up and making the MOST of your weekend. Those Reese’s Cups you surreptitiously scarfed in the car this morning, (trust me: everyone saw you pigging it up like Kobayashi,) aren’t going to fill your party tank with laughing gas.

So tonight, why not stuff your belly with this delicious soup which will then free you to DRINK your calories in booze!

 

(You’ve Gotta Be Kidding me THIS is healthy!?) Pumpkin Cream Soup

Get in MAH MAWF!

Get in MAH MAWF!

Creamy and decadent this flavorful soup clocks in at ONLY 125 calories a cup, but the soup’s so rich that it tastes like it’s 1000 Calories a spoonful. That means you can stuff yourself silly without guilt.

I’ve made regular, Paleo and full on Vegan versions of this baby, and they all turned out beautifully.

Here are the ingredients you will need:

  • 2 Tbs of Butter (Clarified Butter for Paleo Eaters, Olive Oil for Vegan)
  • 2 Tbs. of All Purpose Flour (Almond flour for Paleo and wheat flour avoiders)
  • Minced Garlic to taste (I use 6 cloves)
  • 1/2 cup chopped onion
  • 48 oz. (big tetra pack) of chicken broth, (Vegetable broth for Vegan)
  • 15 oz. can of pumpkin
  • 8 oz. of canned UNSWEETENED coconut milk (It MUST be the canned variety canned coconut milk is creamy and almost identical in taste & texture to heavy cream.)
Directions:
  1. In a large saucepan heat the butter/ghee/olive oil up when shimmering, add flour and stir until combined and (will be very gummy and gross!)
  2. Add the onion and garlic into the pan and sauté just enough to sweat the onions and garlic.
  3. Add the chicken broth, one cup at first. Deglaze and break up the globs of flour.
  4. Add the can of pumpkin, combine.
  5. Pour the remaining chicken broth into the pan and stir.
  6. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 30 minutes.
  7. Consistently taste the soup as it cooks and add salt/pepper/and any other spices you like. When the pumpkin soup is right where you want it taste wise, add the unsweetened coconut milk and stir until fully incorporated. Turn off and allow soup to cool.
  8. Once cooled down enough, you can blend it to be extra fancy! Me? I usually am too lazy and I serve as is (even without blending it, the soup is still smooth and delicious.)
Serve hot and often. You will be the hero anywhere you take this.
If you get off on that Martha Stewart sh*t, go ahead and garnish with toasted pumpkin seeds.

YOU’RE WELCOME.

 


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