Post By L4L: Satisfries, A Review

funny-burger-king-sign-that-says-ultimate-whore

One of the things I love most about CK is that you know there’s always some sort of whack-a-doo scheme right around the corner.  I’ve found myself in strange places doing bizarre things with even weirder people as a result of her constant shenanigans.  Today was no different.  She had me run a “little errand” for her.  I’ve got the distinguished honor of being the official GM “satisfriestaste tester.

In hindsight it was really all my own fault.

You see, I’m a guy who loves buffalo sauce but I absolutely will not eat chicken wings. I don’t do the whole bones and cartilage thing.  It reminds me that I’m eating a little critter…and given the choice, I’d rather not have that in the front of my mind while I’m chowing down. Intellectually, I know it’s true, but if I’m  sitting there naming the parts of the femur while eating a drumstick it brings it home in a different way. Burger King also recently introduced a buffalo chicken strip. I saw a commercial for strips and mentioned that they might be worth trying at some point. And that’s how A gets connected to B. 

Here’s a picture of the fries as I received them.  BK isn’t exactly known for their amazing fries so I didn’t have very high expectations coming into the whole thing.

Paler than a redheaded baby seahorse.

Paler than a redheaded baby seahorse.

Texturally they were basically like most other fries.  A little greasy to the touch but crispy.  They leave the satisfying fry schmutz on your fingers you’ve come to expect.  I was impressed.

Then I ate a few.

They were just ok, and needed salt…but there was something else missing.  I tried a few more and finally put my finger on it, Satisfries had a raw potato aftertaste, the kind you sometimes get with undercooked fries. Surely I’m not the only kid that got crosswise with some undercooked crinkle cuts from the big bag in the freezer that the disinterested babysitter halfheartedly warmed up while talking to her boyfriend on the phone with the extra-long cord. Too specific or dead on?…you be the judge! 

At any rate, I think the protective coating they put on the fries to keep them from soaking up oil also keeps them from soaking up much flavor.  If your fries are merely a ketchup delivery medium, you’re probably safe ordering these.  If you relish the delicate potato/salt/crunchy/soft tango in your mouth that are good french-fries, you probably knew better than to order these or any other fries at Burger King anyway. 

 

And in case you’re curious, the buffalo chicken strips were awesome!

Still, it's not like you're going to be going to BK anytime soon.

Still, it’s not like you’re going to be going to BK anytime soon.

They’re actually dredged in sauce, not just in a spicy batter.  They are wet with sauce, which itself is pretty good. It’s vinegary and not too mild or hot, just enough to open up my sinuses and stop there.They seem to have mixed reviews online but I dig them.  At least I did today.  Like all chains, your results may vary.

-L4L

 


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