A Chilling Confession (Alternate Title: Here’s Something Terrible I Do.)

 

All hands on deck.

All hands on deck.

I’m going to disclose something very horrible that I’m not proud of, but I suspect I’m not the only one guilty of doing this.

When someone I know is on a vacation that I find myself envious of, I can’t help but secretly wish the time they are gone flies by. I don’t wish people ill will or a bad vacation, I just mentally time warp them until they are back.

No matter how much I love and admire the friend or family member, if I’m jealous of their getaway, be it a 5 star SPAcation, or a McDonald’s Happy meal chased with a night of uninterrupted sleep in a motel, I’m secretly rooting time is up ASAP.

When the day arrives for my object of envy to return from holiday, it never fails, I silently say to myself, “Welcome back to the grind jerks. Now you’re just like the rest of us miserable stiffs.”

And on that note, this week I’ll be slathering sunscreen to my golden fried shoulders on a boat in the middle of the ocean. I’ma be surrounded by a bevy of sexy senior citizens who love to party, we’re on a cruise y’all!

But I wouldn’t be too jealous, we’ve got the meanest pint-sized pirate to ever sail the seven seas in our crew (Angry Baby,) AND I’m on the SS Triumph, which you might remember from THIS.

PS: I’ve got a work-week’s worth of posts pre-scheduled for all of you stuck rocking the grind this week! Stay tuned!!!

 

 


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