Rene Daniel, from Quebec, was served with divorce papers last week. And while a sh*t-ton of marriages end in divorce, not many of them end up involving tons of actual sh*t. That’s where Mr. Daniel, a 64-year old jilted husband, comes in to make your Monday morning.
Upon getting served with divorce papers, Rene did what anyone who had access to a tractor and tons of manure would do, he decided to fill his soon to be ex wife’s hot tub (and front doorstep) with poo. The Ex-Cop (WTF!?) was reported for “criminal mischief,” and as the authorities arrived, he made his GRAND ESCAPE on a tractor that topped out at a whopping 12.5 miles an hour.
After the slowest and most hilarious chase ever, the police caught up and took him down with pepper spray. Rene was arrested and charged with: mischief over $5000, damage to property, and evading arrest.
Forgive the 12-year-old in me, but…
- What a sh*tty thing to do.
- He must be down in the dumps.
- Crappy ending to a relationship that was once flush with love.
- Guess their marriage really was in the toilet.
All corny poop jokes aside, I don’t see what the big stink is over? I mean, anyone who has ever sat in a hot tub knows those things are disgusting and teeming with bacteria anyway. Why, I venture to guess her Spa was no worse off after Rene “dropped the kids off at the pool.” See, hot tubs are giant a stockpot from which an unsavory soup of human oils, salty sweat, and questionable hookups emerge from.
All pooping aside, Mr. Daniels DOES deserve jail time for being dumb enough to think he could out run police while driving a tractor. Speaking of, my guess is the soon to be ex-wife does NOT “think his tractor’s sexy.”