Rich B*tch Tells Rescuers to Shove Off, Hires Private Helicopter

As I’ve told you before, I live in Texas…Katy TX, to be exact. My town is a bustling suburb of Houston with more money and rich a-holes than it knows what to do with. Often I find myself giving side-eyes to the spendthrift showy snobs I call my neighbors, but rarely do I have a “blog-worthy,” story that shows just how entitled and insufferable these dipsh*ts are.

And then I turned on my laptop this morning, and found a heartwarming tale all about a fellow Katy-dweller.

What do you mean there's no valet!?!

What do you mean there’s no valet!?!

Nancy Allen and her 18 year old daughter were hiking Mount St. Helens yesterday when the 48 year old tripped and sprained her diamond-encrusted ankle. Armed with cell-phones, they quickly called for rescue and in less than 2 hours of the initial call, a team of 6 Sheriff and Fire rescue hikers located them.

The heroes deemed Nancy’s injury wasn’t worth an emergency airlift and placed her in a Stokes Litter (a rescue basket) the team then proceeded to carry her down the mountain for 2,000 feet.

Ms. Allen then asked the rescue team to stop, she wanted to go no further. Unwilling to be carried in the basket any longer and refusing to walk on her SPRAINED ankle, Nancy used her cell phone to call a private helicopter company to come and pick her up along with her daughter. Within minutes, the chartered helicopter arrived and Nancy left 5 of the 6 rescue team members on the mountain to climb the remaining 6,000 feet.

The total cost for the private pickup was a mere $1300, but no word yet on what the Sheriff and Fire Department will charge her for being the biggest d*ck they’ve ever had to carry 2,000 feet.

Part of me is shocked that a private helicopter ride off of Mount St. Helens is less than $1,500…but that’s just the Katy a-hole in me. I’m not as shocked by this stunt as one would think, I live with these idiots every day. See, I’m one co-dependent housekeeper away from being Karen Walker part 2.

ROSARIO, fetch my pills!

ROSARIO, fetch my pills!

The real shocking part of this excessive tale is, why would two of my fellow Katy ladies stoop so low as to climb a Mountain for recreation? I mean, is there some exclusive Spa at the summit that I don’t know about? And if there is, why am I just hearing about this special place? I’m sure Jeeves purposefully kept this from me, he’s always spoiling my fun.

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