When I started this clap-trap hobo parlor of a website almost 2 years ago, it was mainly a coping skill to deal with the stresses of living with a tiny, furious, despot, Angry Baby. In the time since, grouchymuffin has exceed my wildest expectations and most importantly, Angry Baby has morphed into occasionally Angry Toddler. She smiles and is usually happy now, y’all!
Months and months ago, L4L’s youngest cousin asked me if Angry Baby could be a flower girl in her wedding. Like most people, when something is far away, I’ll agree to just about anything, out of direct schedule, out of mind. “She’d love to be a flower girl,” I replied.
Upon uttering those words, I swear to you: the wind began howling and an unholy chill filled the air. I could be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure O Fortuna from Carmina Burana began playing too. As I told friends and family of Angry Baby’s upcoming debut on the wedding circuit, I got a mixture of horror and incredulous delight as they processed the news. “But, she doesn’t like being told what to do,” and “Awww that cutie is going to ruin the wedding,” were just a few things I heard.
And now, after months of not being that stressed about my little mess, the time is upon us. This morning, I’m picking my mother in law up and we’re making a 5 hour trip up to north Texas to attend the wedding and allow Angry Baby her first taste of flower girl glory.
Die-hard fans of my blog know that merely riding in the car with Angry Baby for an extended period of time can be enough to end in disaster. Who knows what being uncomfortable and out of her routine will do to my kid’s demeanor, one thing’s for sure…we’re in for an adventure.
The good news? I pick Lover for Life up from the airport at 8pm tonight, he’s flying back from an oversea business trip just in time to catch the wedding tomorrow. I know I haven’t mentioned it, but homedude has been gone for 2 weeks and I’ve been a single mama to my little ninnymuggins. I’ve missed him terribly, and unlike those awful things that happened last time he was away, It’s been relatively smooth sailing this go around.
That last portion is what gives me the most heartburn. You see, I’m a Villain at heart, a real jerk, by many standards. Frequently the universe loves to kick me in the baby maker as Karmic payback for being such an A-hole. 2 whole weeks of a well-behaved and almost completely kind Angry Baby? It seems suspicious. I’m ready for the other shoe to fall.
And so now, my dearest readers…you wait until I have gone through this gauntlet. Will I be screamed at for 5 solid hours by a toddler or will the magic iPad do its one worthwhile trick? Will Angry Baby trash her hotel room? What delicious chocolates and incredible gifts will L4L bring me fresh from Switzerland? And what about her flower girling? Will she go slow and sprinkle the flowers like she’s been taught? Or will Angry Baby ruin the beauty of a young bride’s nuptials. WHO KNOWS!?!?!? YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO STAY TUNED!
One thing’s for sure, you ghouls will sop up the gory details with a biscuit and a smile. Bunch of vultures I tells ya! Until Monday, my dears.