These Bunnies will Scare the Chocolate Easter Eggs Out of You

The Easter Bunny is no Santa Claus.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a pretty cool dude. I think we all can agree surprise trinkets, hidden eggs and delicious candies are a nice touch, but the buck-toothed fur ball has nothing on the ultimate Polar Bear, Saint Nick.

santa-vs-easter-bunny

Case in Point: Mall Santas usually provide adorable photos with children and ironic teens. Oh sure, a few of them are filthy alcoholics reeking of pee and maple syrup, but Santa snapshots generally turn out non-terrifying.

The same cannot be said for Easter Bunny Photos. ALL are horrific and traumatizing. One look at the following creep-outs and you’ll forever agree that the Easter Bunny needs to cut his photo-op nonsense out, because that sh*t is not cute.

Now, feast your eyes on the various freaks of the Easter Bunny Circuit, and good luck EVER SLEEPING AGAIN!

 

Why is the Easter Bunny eye-f*cking me?

Why is the Easter Bunny eye-f*cking me?

 

This bunny has a terrifying pig nose.

This bunny has a terrifying pig nose.

 

I can tell by those slutty, slutty eyes that this b*tch reads grouchymuffin.

I can tell by those slutty, slutty eyes that this b*tch reads grouchymuffin.

 

The son Whack-a-mole and The Easter Bunny never talk about.

The son Whack-a-mole and The Easter Bunny never talk about.

 

Mmmm, you taste delicious!

Mmmm, you taste delicious!

 

 

Hop with the Popped collar!

Hop with the Popped collar!

 

Those weren't Jelly Beans, maaan.

Those weren’t Jelly Beans, maaan.

 

AH! I'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!

AH! I’LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!

 

Unimpressed Pensive Bunny

Unimpressed Pensive Bunny

 

Kick him in the face, kid!

Kick him in the face, kid!

 

Pink Bunny is channeling a young Jessie Ventura

Pink Bunny is channeling a young Jessie Ventura

 

Sarcastic Bunny scoffs at you and your children.

Sarcastic Bunny scoffs at you and your children.

 

Vintage Terror

Vintage Terror

 

KKK Bunny wants you to know he's only 15% Racist at Easter.

KKK Bunny wants you to know he’s only 15% Racist at Easter.

 

In closing, there’s nothing sadder than an old queen in make-up who creeps on the young.

Give it up, girlfriend!

Give it up, girlfriend!

 

via

 

(Thanks, Fester!)


Comments

These Bunnies will Scare the Chocolate Easter Eggs Out of You — 6 Comments

  1. Please, pleaseplease supercalifragiplease tell me you took Angry Baby to get creepy Easter Bunny photos. Comedy gold.

    • No way, Josie.

      Part of a successful life with her is avoiding situations that have a 100% chance of an EXTREME MELTDOWN.

      • I also think avoiding some of this stuff when they’re very young helps minimize some of the scarring later on. Case in point…how many people have a healthy perspective of clowns?

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