When one hears the word grandparent, images of ol’ saints in fluffy sweaters, popping Werther’s and doting on grandchildren, often comes to mind. But you know what doesn’t? A busted and wasted old crone with a mouth like a sailor, terrifying kids on a School Bus.
Meet Kathryn Wright.
Ms. Wright happened to find herself on the wrong side of the law when she decided to chaperone a school field trip for one of her grandkids and pack 2 water bottles of diluted vodka as her liquid refreshment.
The day started out nice and pleasant, the students were visiting Wonderworks in Orlando and having a fine time not being in school. But like all field trips, it ended in a downward spiral of awful.
On the ride home, granny got sloppy, cursed a blue streak and stumbled through the bus aisle. When an adult tried to intervene she screamed: “GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY WAY, OR ELSE!” She then got in a physical altercation with another chaperone who tried to help Kathryn off the ground when the drunk mess fell down. As the woman offered her hand, Ms. Wright got up and rewarded the lady’s kindness by pushing her.
Sh*t got so sideways and chaotic, that the cops and paramedics were called. Grandma of the Year was unable to walk or even stand, and had to be taken to a nearby hospital to sleep it off, she was also charged by police with battery and disorderly intoxication. That last part’s my favorite. You know Florida has to specify what kind of public intoxication its citizens are guilty of because EVERYONE IN FLORIDA IS INTOXICATED.
Not going to lie, Kathryn Wright, you’re the Nana I wish I had. You can sling vodka like it was water and beat up any jerk that gets in your way of having a good time, even if they were just trying to help you.
Cold hearted, drunk and foul-mouthed? Why, I’m tearing up at the memories I could make with a perfect Evil Memaw just like you.
Oh Florida, don’t ever change!
You’re the drunken uncle who apologizes for crapping in the fountain at our graduation by buying pizza for everyone afterwards. In other words, WE CAN’T STAY MAD AT YOU!!!!!