8th Graders Lied to By Teachers, Hilarious Tears Follow

Teachers are the WORST when it comes to havin’ fun.

For the most part, they’re are a total buzzkill. All that lecturing and those smarty pants assignments, who do they think they are, the sculptors of future humanity, or something!?

But what happens when the professional saints of the world AKA educators, decide to flip a finger to kindness and hit the cruel stroll? Well, you’ve got the makin’s for prime grouchymuffin.com territory.

We could all learn a lesson from these educators.

We could all learn a lesson from these educators.

South Windsor Canada has seen a lot of blisteringly cold winters and generally dull/ bland Canadian behavior. But the students of the Roseland School, particularly the graduating 8th graders, were treated to some hot and cold running b*tch moves, all conducted by teachers they trusted.

Seems the staff of Roseland School in South Windsor Canada, could give two maple leaves about the hearts of their 8th graders. The mean sluts at the school, aka the 8th grade teachers, staged an elaborate hoax, all at the expense of the vulnerable tweens. The faculty told the kids that as an 8th grade graduation trip, the whole group was GOING TO DISNEY WORLD! They even went so far as to create fake permission slips and Disney Brochures.

Well, because everyone knows middle school students hold a special breed of demonic power, the teachers embarked on a quest for teenage tears and held an assembly on Friday with a Multimedia presentation about Disney World.

During the presentation the kids were informed that it was all just for jokes, and rather than Disney World, the 8th graders were going to a crusty old local bowling alley.

In a move that makes Hitler look like a kitten chasing a butterfly, the teachers VIDEO TAPED the students reactions on an iPad to share the LOLZ with other staff members.

Ye Olde Switcharoo, CLASSIC!

Ye Olde Switcharoo, CLASSIC!

This story has it all: lying to children, having laughs at the expense of a bunch of tweens, taping youth pain and suffering for internet fame. Clearly, I need to move to Windsor Canada and teach Junior High School to earn another stamp on my Super Villain Club reward card. I can honestly say these educators have inspired me to reach out to the kids of today (and punch them in the zitty face.)


If this stunt happened in the US,  I’m sure the district would be bankrupted due to parental lawsuits, thank Satan this happened in Canada, where not one single teacher has been fired over this.

To the stone-hearted hags and heartless meanies who pulled off this prank I say, congratulations for making me believe in the Canadian School system. All my American teachers chain-smoked in the teacher’s lounge and drank slim-fast everyday for lunch, there was no time for bullying the kids. YOU folks are the REAL HEROES.

The new face of Evil Villain apparel.

The new face of Evil Villain apparel.

Truthfully, I want to take the whole staff of the Roseland School on a trip to Disney World. Only, we won’t ride any rides, we’ll go bowling with all the “World’s” greatest Villains: Ursula, Cruella DeVil, that dragon slut from Sleeping Beauty, but none of those Disney drawn Baddies hold a candle to these hard-hearted Hannahs from Canada.

We're not worthy.

We’re not worthy.

Matter of fact, I’m pretty sure the actual World’s most famous dictators are lining up to enroll in some sort of superjerk masterclass with these masterc***s.

I’d like to take this moment to address the Children of the Roseland School who were duped into thinking they were going to Disney World.

Punkin' ain't easy.

Punkin’ ain’t easy.

Hey there little buckaroo. Look, I know you’re totes bummed about the fact that you’re celebrating 8th grade graduation in a musty deserted bowling alley, but welcome to reality. Truthfully, ALL Junior High Graduations should be held in grimey bowling joints, why? Because it’s flurking Junior High.

This is the time you will look back and cringe the most at. The hormones, the questionable fashion, the not yet developed ability to flirt, it all spells disaster. In other words, a bowling alley is the perfect place to celebrate never having to socialize ever again with 75% of your current classmates.

Let’s face it, BEING IN JR. HIGH IS THE WORST. You can’t drive, if you drink at this age you’re considered a lost cause and you are still a good ten years away from being able to truly satisfy a lover. To make matters worse, you’re not yet obnoxious to the point that your parents hate you enough to let you do your own thing. In the eyes of the world, you’re still Mommy’s little starsailor at the commencement of 8th grade.

Kiddos, listen to Auntie Crib Keeper: The world is a crummy place filled with iceholes like yours truly who love to laugh at other people’s misfortune. Your jackal teachers actually did you a solid by dashing your dreams this early. So stop whining and start showing some gratitude.

Afterall, you’re 14 years old now, and that crying whiny baby crap is not cute. Come Freshman year, the upperclassmen are going to have a field day with your gullible hineys, best grow the hail up and start taking your lumps like a big boy.


Aunt Cribsy


No Frontierland TURKEY LEG  for you!!



8th Graders Lied to By Teachers, Hilarious Tears Follow — 1 Comment

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