Grey Poupon is Bringing Back The ‘Pardon Me’ Ads (For Me to Poop on)

The 1980’s were a golden time for many things: Children’s Breakfast Cereals, shoulder pads and Ad Slogans.

Because you're worth it.

Because you’re worth it.

Consider this: “Where’s the beef?, I want my MTV! and I’ve Fallen and I can’t get up!” were all Ad-Slogans birthed during the 80’s.

 

Eat Me.

Eat Me.

 

Grey Poupon is a Dijon mustard made by KRAFT. It was the first to be available at most supermarkets and readily available to the unwashed masses. In a stroke of eighties excess, glamour and extravagance, Kraft marketed the French mustard as luxury enjoyed by only the richest.

The original commercial was remade by Kraft in various situations for the next 15 years, all using the same catchphrase. “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”

Here’s the original Ad:

Well, after kicking the tired azzed slogan to the curb, Kraft has resurrected it and will be relaunching the Poupon Oscar Night. The new commercial cost upwards of 2 million bucks to shoot. And is an attempt to regain Kraft’s stronghold on the fancy-dancy-hoity-toity mustard game. The rePouped Poup will ONLY show once and afterwards will be available online.

Look, I’m all about drunk eating this stuff with a spoon at 1:45am in the middle of a Vodka binge, but let’s face it…the 80’s need to f*cking go away. We’ve now had 80’s nostalgia and reboots for almost two decades, and that crap only lasted 10 years.

Movies, Fashion, Toys, Television Shows, many are rife with 1980’s updates THIS VERY MOMENT. And now you’re telling me we have no more new original thought in Advertising as well!? Unacceptable!

Kraft, let me throw you a bone. I’m going to give you an AWARD-WINNING SLOGAN for Grey Poupon that doesn’t involve you bringing corpse of a played-out gag back from the dead. FOR FREE, right now. All I ask is that you save the world and kill this idea.

Here’s my FREE slogan…

Grey Poupon: Cheap and Fancy

Don’t like that one? Try on another for gratis…

When you’re too stingy to offer anything but sandwiches, buy this to look generous.

Think of the Children Kraft! Once this stupid line gets going again, every teacher, parent, annoying uncle, youth pastor and student council camp skit will be hammering it into their brains with un-funny mutations. You’ll be sparing the youth in America millions of awkward laughs and secret eye-rolls!

There’s ONLY ONE SCENARIO where I’ll put my stamp of approval on this reboot. If the new Grey Poupon Ad involves the Hot Piece from the original, then yours truly is ON BOARD!

Roll down my heart, you beautiful bastard!

Roll down my heart, you beautiful bastard!

via


Comments

Grey Poupon is Bringing Back The ‘Pardon Me’ Ads (For Me to Poop on) — 5 Comments

  1. It used to be that fashion cycled every 30 years or so. For example the 80’s had a lot of 50’s (and subsequently 20’s) aesthetic. Think about the colors, the “deco” art, etc. But now that the 80’s have been “back” for 20 years we’re in real trouble…when the cycle starts again there is nothing left to reference except retreads of retreads…In the end its all 80’s all the time. The real future will be “Back to the Future 2”. All we are missing is digital Reagans and hoverboards (which they are working on).

  2. Ah Sh*t…DIE 80’s, DIE!!! (lmao at “roll down my heart you beautiful bastard”…haha!) And now thanks to L4L my major concern is being stuck in a perpetual loop of infinite 80’s crap!! I will crotch kick the first real life person I hear use this recycled slogan. I have a sneaky suspicion your next post might contain the phrase “can you please pass the jelly!” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xBydH93eDY

    • And this is why I love you, Misty. Little did you know, in this very post I almost wrote a tangent about 80’s sales by snobbery and included THIS very clip. I’m not sure why, but I still love this commercial! Perhaps it’s because my toddler sister insisted on yelling “wudyaplease pass thajelly!?” at every fancy restaurant we visited with my parents.

  3. Pingback: Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-19-13] « The Twist

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