Post By Mad Dad: How I Feel Kinda Bad About Making Fun of Carman

I Feel Kinda Bad About Making Fun of Carman

At about 9 a.m., Friday, Feb. 15, Cribsy posted on this very blog my post about how terrible Mumford and Sons are, in which I stated that they sound like a Christian band.

Incidentally, I alluded to the ultra-famous Christian performer, Carman.

Unbeknownst to me, at 1:10 a.m., Thursday, Feb. 14, Carman announced on his Facebook fan page that he has myeloma, an incurable strain of cancer. According to him, he has three to four years to live. (The post, FYI, had more than 17,000 “Shares,” 15,000 “Likes” and 7,000 comments … some of them awkwardly worded prayers).

Clearly, I had no idea of Carman’s diagnosis. I’d written the post several days before and even upon submitted it to the Cribmeister, I was ignorant of his current misfortune. Even if you read the post, Carman’s inclusion is purely incidental. I’m not making fun of him (more so his fans), and I could’ve used DC Talk or Sandy Patti.

I felt bad although I knew the coincidence of his announcement and my post had nothing to do with having cancer.

But before I go any further, please note that my thoughts from this point onward have nothing to do with Carman’s beliefs nor am I advocating him or anyone else getting cancer. I’m anti-cancer.

Upon exploring Carman’s Facebook page, I realized that I feel substantially less guilty about my coincidental post and his unfortunate news.

Things you will find on Carman’s Facebook fan page, posted by Carman or someone in Carman’s camp:

  • Multiple vanity shots of Carman in mirror taking photos of himself with smart phone.


  • The photo accompanying his cancer post is Carman looking into the camera pensively rubbing his neck. Posed, studio shot.
Looking good giving bad news.

Looking good giving bad news.

  • An ad for his new album – Anthems of a Champion – that states, “Carman: Christian Icon.”


  • Pictures of his cats. (One named Pops with a Photoshopped birthday hat and cake. It was the Pop’s birthday. I’ve also taken the liberty of including his FULL caption, written in CATonese!)

Carman's Cat

“Happy Birthday Pops. I’m using my iphone app to translate Cat into English. Lets just drop the issue with the 4 dead mice…oh you didn’t know the other one’s gone too. But I talked to my attorney and we are pleading temporary insanity. I was under a lot of stress. They (all 4) were saying things like “Neener neener neener, Phil is such a Weiner” laughing like chipmunks, running on that stupid tre…admill and playing loud music. After they all put on those nose and glasses and said “Hey we look like Phil’s old girlfriends” …I just lost it and I guess I snapped. I only remember waking up hours later lying under the bed dazed and confused. So I’m not even sure what happened. But they’re gone now and all that’s left is you and me and its that special day . So here’s a cake, lets just forgive and forget, not look under the bed and say to our big Pizza eatin , Italian Gugoots…Happy Birthday Pops”


  • Performance videos.


  • Pictures of ironic Christian T-shirts.

Christian Shirt

  • Photos of Barack Obama, clearly doctored with, exaggerated ears, bucked teeth and … an enlarged nose with very wide, upright nostrils.

Carman Politics

  • Photo of (presumably) his mother walking down a tunnel into a bright light. She is still alive.
Carmom lives.

Carmom lives.

  • More cats.
Even Carman Agrees that Pulp Fiction is a perfect movie.

Even Carman Agrees that Pulp Fiction is a perfect movie.

  • Picture of Carman sitting on a couched, in shorts, from a vantage point to where we can almost see his testicles.
I'm not sure how to feel about this.

I’m not sure how to feel about this.


You can draw your own conclusions. You don’t have to take my word for it.

I will take the high road and wish Carman a full life … with his cats.

-Mad Dad


Post By Mad Dad: How I Feel Kinda Bad About Making Fun of Carman — 3 Comments

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