Happy Valentine’s Day!
Listen, I’m aware that tons of people eye-roll at mere mention of Feb. 14th, and I can’t say you’re not on to something. Regardless of what your romantic/ bedroom situation looks like at the moment, there’s one thing we all can do on this day devoted to LOVE!LOVE!LOVE!, and that thing is laughing at dumb VD related stuff. So, put on some romantic grooves, and be sure you’re not drinking any liquids while reading this gut-busting Valentine of insanity from me to YOU.
Our LIMO of love awaits, take a ride with me tonight, it promises to be a FULL MOON:
Maybe you’d rather have some flowers?
Or perhaps a fur?
Of course, booze always works:
Some people prefer brutal honesty over mushy sentiment:
Regardless, it’s just not hearts day without…
#1 hilarious and punny cards:
#2 Cheap gifts:
And #3 romantic poses:
So tonight, when you’re drunk on cheap champagne binge-eating chocolate and crying over photos of your ex, remember that your old pal the Crib Keeper is there for you.
Happy Valentine’s day, you disgusting disgrace to the human race! Sluts like us have to stick together.
But not THIS CLOSE, the double hoodie below is literally the worst idea in the history of EVER:
Straight from the fart er, heart: Happy VD Y’ALL!
PS: If you want a love in your life, why not hit up the internet? There REALLY is a dating site for everyone.