A White Trash Valentine To YOU

If I haven’t reminded you lately, I have the greatest readers in the world!

Yes, Please.

Yes, Please.

In addition to indulging my drunken buffoonery, terrible ideas, and shoddy schemes, grouchymuffin readers often think of me when they come across bizarre sh*t, and aren’t afraid to send it in. This morning, I was thrilled to come across a gem from Misty, she writes:

“As I was on my way to hell, I mean work this morning, a local radio station was playing  “best damn audio” clips. This segment of the show is pretty funny and did not disappoint today… Don’t know that it’s GM material, but I thought you would get a few laughs out of it.”

What followed was a video introduction to the world’s worst greatest trash-talker, fighter Bucky Boyd who made this promo video for an upcoming brawl in West Virginia that is part of the Rough N’ Rowdy Bowl.

On the day before you binge eat bad chocolate and hate-watch romantic comedies, I dare you not to fall in love with this corpulent cupid. If Honey-Boo Boo Child grew up and married King Hippo from Mike Tysons’s Punchout, their first-born would look and sound just like Mr. Bucky Boyd.

Ta-dow!

Ta-dow!

(FYI: There are a few swear words. Luckily, homedude’s speech impediment masks them for the most part.)

Just a few thoughts:

1. The grammar in this video is superb. To me, nothing is sexier than a good command of linguistics.

2. That face he starts making @1:35 is pretty much the hottest crazy eye I’ve ever witnessed.

3. The last thing a cheeseburger ever sees starts @ 4:13

4. “Don’t make me show you my pimp hand, I will pimp slap you.” Please, the only thing Bucky Boyd pimps is type 2 diabeetus.

5. I’m in love with how he pronounces the word “fight.” To me it sounds just like BITE, which is fitting, because, well you know.

 

Great effort at trying to intimidate, “Muhammad Ali 2.” Sadly, I don’t have a good feeling about your fight, Bucky.

Something tells me he’s going to come down with a raging case of the meat sweats and outofshapes when he enters the ring. While I want to believe in miracles, I fear this bowling ball is going to roll over. The promoters need to make sure an “AMBULANSE” is on-hand, just sayin.

But walk proud Mr. Boyd, as you come from a lineage of ROYALTY!

We hippos are known for losing.

We hippos are known for losing.

 

Side note: Maybe I’m just getting a contact high from all the Oxycontin that was being smoked while this promo was being shot, but I’m into “Tree,” Bucky Boyd’s 7ft. tall arch nemesis. I’d totally get drunk and make out with Tree. His grizzly bear did it with a lumberjack rugged good looks are doing something for me downstairs. But enough about my Calgon and pink champagne Fantasies.

Most of you reading this are no doubt fascinated by the hillbilly trash fantastic we’ve stumbled upon. To you I say: “Have fun not being productive for the rest of the workday!”

Why, I’ve wasted er…invested most of my morning researching the whole subculture. LOLZ abound! From the Rough N’ Rowdy Bowl official website’s KLASSY ring girl contest, and  shameless photos of the promoters with their celebrity idols, to THIS promo video starring a Meth’d out hobo called, “Swagmaster,” it’s all gold. A veritable menagerie of bad decisions, horrible acting and unabashed charisma.

Cracked out leprechaun with a heart of gold.

Cracked out leprechaun with a heart of gold.

 

via

(Thanks Misty!)

 


Comments

A White Trash Valentine To YOU — 4 Comments

  1. Ah, love is in the air…or maybe it was just meth smoke! You really brought the beauty out in Bucky, as if it was hard to do…Locomolis!!

  2. Pingback: Guy Fieri is Your Mom - GrouchyMuffin

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