Vanilla Ice is a folk hero to drunken sluts that came of age in the 90’s like yours truly. Matter of fact, Vanilla is the Patron Saint of Tues the Extreme Day, a weekly holiday when grouchy muffin fans and readers embrace living life in the extreme.
Today, I am thrilled to report that the Rap SUPERSTAR has a new groove to throw attcha. To quote the master himself, “Ice is back with a brand new invention,” Vanilla wants to sell you LIGHTS.
Not just any lights, his personally designed fixtures and pieces of lighting art. Rob has teamed up with the good folks at Captiol Lighting to create the Vanilla Ice Lighting Collection.
Back in 2010, Vanilla rocked the renovation world by debuting, “The Vanilla Ice Project,” on the DIY network. The series followed our budding mogul as he completely rehabbed a tore up Miami mansion and turned it into gold. Matter of fact, Rob Van Winkle (Mr. Ice if ya nasty,) has made quite a name for himself in Florida real estate by flipping homes for excellent profits.
Here’s footage of Ice at the Fort Lauderdale Boat Show launching his line (If you watch nothing else, please skip to the 2:09 mark for comedy GOLD.)
Listen, dude knows fashion. Just look at some of his iconic sartorial choices of the past, such as:
The Word to Your Mother Jacket
This lovely number
And who could forget his “turtleneck phase?”
Bottom line, I would buy just about anything from the poet of our generation. Even a chandelier, especially one “Blinged out” and in a special finish called “Bronze Ice.”
Take a look at this Swarovsky incrusted beauty:
It’s currently retailing for $1495.00. a bargain when you consider it’s over $750 bucks off the original MSRP of $2250.00!
Swarovsky crystals and a proprietary bronze finish named after its creator Vanilla Ice? Sign me up!
Oh sure, it looks like it belongs hanging in some sort of futuristic brothel or a rich lady’s shoe closet, but IT WAS DESIGNED BY THE ICE MAN.
Rob Van Winkle the business man, I salute you and wish you luck in your newest venture. Vanilla Ice, while I am happy for your success in the reno/redesign game, I implore you to answer the question on everyone’s lips:
WHEN ARE YOU RETURNING TO THE STUDIO, HOLMES?
Listen Vanilla, last month Justin Timberlake answered the world’s prayers by returning with new music, now all that’s left is for you to follow suit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m “Having a Roni,” that I now can hang you from my ceiling, but your real LIGHT is the SPOTLIGHT on stage.
That being said, how about a “Cool As Ice,” themed Tiffany-Style Stained glass lamp? Name your price and I’ll pay it!