Welp, cancel my Brennivin binge drinking expedition with Bjork in Reykjavik (the capital of Iceland.)
Iceland’s Airline, Icelandair has no patience for drunken shenanigans.
The internets came forth with comedy gold this fine Friday, but unfortunately…the haha’s are at the expense of a drunken buffoon.
This precious rainbow was put in a micro prison of ductape and plastic, on a flight to New York’s JFK airport. The crime? Just being himself. Witnesses say the unidentified man (and big fat party animal,) downed an entire bottle of duty-free liquor before boarding the flight in Iceland.
Well, because booze in massive quantities tends to bring out the horse’s ass in all of us, our friend got rowdy on the flight and was restrained by flight attendants. Once they landed in the good ol’ US of A he was arrested. The nationality of the man is not yet known, but you can bet your sweet bottle of Brennivin, that this treasure of a human is AMERICAN!
That doughy physique, the khaki on khaki vacation ensemble, his hairdo… it all reads one thing: Josten’s Class Ring Salesman. And everyone knows that Class Ring Salesmen are indigenous to American Highschool Cafeterias and University Center corridors. Mystery solved. USA!USA!USA!USA!
Cheers to you my dear drunk! I know that you’re probably still nursing one heckuva hangover in jail, but you should take comfort in the fact that you’re a hero to me and so many others. May you have nothing but 24K gold upgrades and simulated gemstone add-ons in your future.