Tis the Season for Vanilla Ice

It’s not a joke. This is real life.

Happy Tues-the-Extreme Day, friends. Today is the day each week we celebrate living life in the extreme. It doesn’t matter what you do, be it hoarding or whoring, as long as you go all out. EXTREME!

This fine day I have a special holiday treat for your ears.

Vanilla Ice, white homeboy turned home remodeler, released a Holiday track last year on myspace. I know what you’re thinking…”Vanilla Ice and Myspace, both cultural icons with legacies that are sure to last!”

Maybe I was too drunk to notice, or perhaps it’s the fact he released it on a MySpace page, whatever the case, I missed it. Please accept my apologies for being late.

Anycashgrabs, the song is called: “Ice Ice Baby (Too Cold For Christmas Mix)” and I can assure you, it’s completely real. Listen to it Here!

As the founder and curator of the internet’s #1 site for non-ironic Vanilla Ice Worship, even I’ve gotta admit that the remix seems…how do I say this delicately? Uninspired.

You can’t just throw some jingle bells and a creepy Santa narrator over the same song and call it a “Christmas Classic.” Where are the cliché’s, schmaltz, and Mariah Carey’s vast, screeching, bosom!?

O, Holy Crap

Of course, that’s not going to stop me from listening to it repeatedly.

Even though it’s a phoned in rehash of an early 90’s hip-hop one hit wonder, it’s still better than most of the crap out there. Vanilla I-C-E sleepwalking through a retread beats Bieber’s Canadian Christmas, always.

 

Buzz, your girlfriend, woof!

 

 

 

 

 


Comments

Tis the Season for Vanilla Ice — 3 Comments

  1. Pingback: Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [12-13-12 « The Twist

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *